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This and That and Talk - My Transplant
Transplants | Last Active: Jun 7 8:31am | Replies (1672)Comment receiving replies
For most days, I am able to manage my daily activities, cook, clean, sit and play with my daughter, drop her at daycare. Somedays, the tiredness is unmanageable that I can hardly walk. Those days, I tend to get into a bad mood as I am overwhelmed by the things that I have to do especially with my daughter. Of course, I feel horribly guilty to feel that way about my daughter but in that moment all I want to do is rest but I force myself to do the minimum for my daughter. I have an amazing husband who picks up tasks on those days but if my daughter (2.5 years old) cries that only mommy has to play with her, there is nothing he can do.
I am looking forward to the rest I am going to get after transplant. I secretly dream about those days, LOL. when I can sleep as long as I could and rest and do nothing.
I have not spoken with my transplant team about my anxiety. I am trying to manage it myself. 52 more days to go until my surgery! I cannot wait to get it done with 🙂
Replies to "For most days, I am able to manage my daily activities, cook, clean, sit and play..."
Taarthi, Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are very sick, and you are a mommy, and a wife. That You have a lot going on, but I'm sure you know that already. Remember that is temporary.
Your health, and your daughter come ahead of all the other things. Your dear husband, will understand that and he can do the other house keeping things (I know that it is hard to turn the dishes, laundry, cooking over to someone else. But this is a time that you are going to just have to do it.
- Please ask someone for some help! I would start with your caregiver - Who is your transplant caregiver? Is he/she aware of your feelings? Do you have a friend or church members, neighbor, or relative who can help you out by playing or reading to her so you can 'just sit'. I know that you probably don't have energy for much more that that and she would probably enjoy the extra attention, too.
I am 9 years post transplant, and a grandma. I want to stress to you that one of the best things that I learned from my transplant experience is that it is OK to ask for help. It is OK, and encouraged to talk to your transplant nurse coordinator or a doctor. They have seen all of these emotions and struggles before. They should be able to provide some guidance, since they know your condition the best.
And you are always welcome to come here on Connect, and let it all out. We understand, and we want to support you, just like someone supported us.
I really care about you and I am sending you a virtual hug.
I'm counting off the days with you.
@taarthi don’t beat yourself up over it. You need the rest now, and thankfully it won’t be too long before you are on the other side of transplant. I am sure it must be very difficult having such a young child but her great mommy will be back very soon.
JK
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Thinking of you and sending good thoughts you way.