Coping with age & serious illness. Anyone positive want to share?

Posted by ellu @ellu, Nov 20, 2025

I am a 72 year old widow and mother of 4 adult children. When my husband died 4 years ago I knew I had to reach out to make more friends, so I joined several local groups. I have some close friends and
enjoy going to community events. I have had bipolar disorder all my life (well controlled with medication), and earlier this year was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I am still leading an active
life and am philosophical about my situation. Is there anyone out there interested in chatting about getting older or coping with illness? I have ideas to share, and would love to hear from people in
similar situations who would like to chat about our lives.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

Profile picture for happilyalive @happilyalive

Hi, I was happy to see your post. We have several things in common or so it seems. The first is we try to make the most of each moment of the day and to reach out to others. Your Jacaranda trees sounded beautiful. I stopped to look up a photo of them and they are breathtaking. Enjoy one for me No, they don't grow here so I will admire them from a distance. I'm sorry that you have the two medical diagnosis and that one is terminal. It's often sad and frustrating to feel our minds be aware and wanting to do many things but our bodies fail us. I love that you send cards to others and reach out by phone. Your care is touching and admirable. I'm glad that you do it and others are being blessed by your actions. I wish that I could sit and just listen to your wisdom and insight. Do you have family or friends that you write it down for and share it with? If not, then I'm certain other people will listen. If you desire I will swing over and send you a private email so that we can write more. If you don't want to then it's fine. I know that life around you is busy and you have several things going on. The main thing is to take care of yourself and your health to the best of your ability. You have a shining love and light to share. I'm proud of you. Have a blessed day.

Jump to this post

@happilyalive
Hi @happilyalive, I was so happy to see your post this morning. The last week has been a whirl of Christmas frenzy, but we had a joyful family gathering on Christmas Eve, Estonian style (my parents were refugees to Australia in 1949), and now it is a quiet time to be still and reflect. My family has a beach house about 90 minutes' drive from Melbourne in a popular holiday spot called Portsea. My children (all in their 30's) have all gone down there with cousins and friends to enjoy the sunshine and beach (of course it is summer here!). I am still in the early stages of ALS, so I hope to go to Portsea with friends in January. I am not a particularly wise or insightful person, but I am always happy to meet people who have a positive attitude towards
life. ************* If I don't reply to you immediately, it is because I have got tied up with home or medical matters, not because I am being neglectful!
Very best wishes, @ellu

REPLY
Profile picture for ellu @ellu

@jofree
Hi @jofree, and others reading this message,
I hope you had a joyous Christmas, and wish you good health and much happiness in the New Year. Last Sunday a friend and I attended a performance of Handel's " Messiah" - it a long piece of music, a celebration of the nativity, and it is beautiful with a full orchestra and choir. Just as my friend and I were leaving the auditorium, we started hearing people talking about the massacre on Bondi Beach which had happened while we were enjoying the music. What can I say? I don't understand the world and human beings. Such beauty, and such terror. What sort of legacy are we leaving our children? What can we do?
On a brighter note, my children and I went for dinner at a restaurant overlooking Federation Square, a large public entertainment place in Melbourne. There we saw gathered several hundred Jewish people, come together to mark the loss of Jewish people at Bondi and express their determination to celebrate the Jewish religion and way of life. It almost brought tears to my eyes. Yes, there is oppression and bigotry in our society, but we must fight against it and treat others with respect and compassion. We can not tolerate acts of violence and terrorism
against others with different views. I am not Jewish (non-practicing Lutheran), but everyone has a right to their beliefs, as long as they are not hurting others. What a sad way to end 2025.
I hope that 2026 will bring peace and prosperity to us all, and we remember to do unto others as we would have them do to ourselves. Greetings from Australia! @ellu

Jump to this post

@ellu
P.S. you mentioned geting in touch by email in an earlier post. ********* If I don't reply immediately, it is because I am tied up in family or medical issues, not because I am being neglectful!

REPLY
Profile picture for ellu @ellu

@ellu
P.S. you mentioned geting in touch by email in an earlier post. ********* If I don't reply immediately, it is because I am tied up in family or medical issues, not because I am being neglectful!

Jump to this post

@ellu You will notice that we removed your email address to protect your privacy since Connect is a public forum. Members can share personal contact information using the private message feature of Connect.

REPLY

Ageing and adjusting to a new normal is a challenge. Have had a bad concussion, heart issues, and just getting
through hormone and chemo for prostate cancer. Biggest issues are fatigue and depression.
Have done cycle touring since 2006 and would like to return to that.
My ever caring wife, positive friends, getting out for walks every day, hoping for a better future.
Is a never ending battle to find root cause for symptoms. Wish you the best.

REPLY
Profile picture for ellu @ellu

@jofree
Hi @jofree, and others reading this message,
I hope you had a joyous Christmas, and wish you good health and much happiness in the New Year. Last Sunday a friend and I attended a performance of Handel's " Messiah" - it a long piece of music, a celebration of the nativity, and it is beautiful with a full orchestra and choir. Just as my friend and I were leaving the auditorium, we started hearing people talking about the massacre on Bondi Beach which had happened while we were enjoying the music. What can I say? I don't understand the world and human beings. Such beauty, and such terror. What sort of legacy are we leaving our children? What can we do?
On a brighter note, my children and I went for dinner at a restaurant overlooking Federation Square, a large public entertainment place in Melbourne. There we saw gathered several hundred Jewish people, come together to mark the loss of Jewish people at Bondi and express their determination to celebrate the Jewish religion and way of life. It almost brought tears to my eyes. Yes, there is oppression and bigotry in our society, but we must fight against it and treat others with respect and compassion. We can not tolerate acts of violence and terrorism
against others with different views. I am not Jewish (non-practicing Lutheran), but everyone has a right to their beliefs, as long as they are not hurting others. What a sad way to end 2025.
I hope that 2026 will bring peace and prosperity to us all, and we remember to do unto others as we would have them do to ourselves. Greetings from Australia! @ellu

Jump to this post

@ellu
And the best of these holidays to you, Ellu, and your family.
Keep on keeping on.
Jofree

REPLY
Profile picture for John, Volunteer Mentor @johnbishop

@ellu You will notice that we removed your email address to protect your privacy since Connect is a public forum. Members can share personal contact information using the private message feature of Connect.

Jump to this post

@johnbishop

Thank you for your advice. I am not very computer literate, so I will work out how to send private messages without giving out my email address!
@ellu

REPLY
Profile picture for ellu @ellu

@johnbishop

Thank you for your advice. I am not very computer literate, so I will work out how to send private messages without giving out my email address!
@ellu

Jump to this post

@ellu The Help Center has step by step instructions on how to send another member a private message along with "how to" for other Connect features. There is a link at the top of each page to the Help Center but here is the direct link if you want to see it now - https://connect.mayoclinic.org/help-center/.

REPLY
Profile picture for cmdw2600 @cmdw2600

@methel There’s an organization, Paws with a Cause, that trains service dogs for this purpose. Application begins at the beginning of the year and I don’t know if we would be chosen. I would only be doing this as a benefit to my husband (even though I love dogs) as I would prefer to keep life simple at this point.

Thank you for sharing your experience!

Jump to this post

@cmdw2600 After excellent health my entire life and being active (hiking, swimming, agility with my dog; recently - with Silver Sneakers - going to my Y 3/x wk), last January (age 71) I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A year later I’m done with surgery and treatment and planning to live my best life!
My comment is about owning a dog/s. We have 2, just regular spoiled little guys (10 lbs and 20 lbs, both rescues; ages 13 and 5), and I cannot imagine life without them. They add immeasurable joy to my life! They are a responsibility but that’s also good for me, they really set our schedule and give me something to do. But not overwhelming - feed 2X/day, let out periodically, pet often! And there are dogs that are couch potatoes and are happy to just sit next to you all day. We travel often, and after some searching we now have 2 wonderful reliable sitters - our dogs LOVE going to their vacay place, having pets does not limit our getting out and about.
I could go on but this gets the idea across.
It is important to have someone who is willing to take your pup, if he/she outlives you. Or if just adding a pet, adopting an older pet is so uplifting - he/she may not be with you as long, but the love and companionship you receive is daily and boundless.
I plan to never be without a dog, luckily have family members who would take any pet if we aren't here for them.
Ha, ha, yes, I am a diehard dog lover, I say often ‘there is nothing like a dog’.

REPLY
Profile picture for katieliz @katieliz

@cmdw2600 After excellent health my entire life and being active (hiking, swimming, agility with my dog; recently - with Silver Sneakers - going to my Y 3/x wk), last January (age 71) I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A year later I’m done with surgery and treatment and planning to live my best life!
My comment is about owning a dog/s. We have 2, just regular spoiled little guys (10 lbs and 20 lbs, both rescues; ages 13 and 5), and I cannot imagine life without them. They add immeasurable joy to my life! They are a responsibility but that’s also good for me, they really set our schedule and give me something to do. But not overwhelming - feed 2X/day, let out periodically, pet often! And there are dogs that are couch potatoes and are happy to just sit next to you all day. We travel often, and after some searching we now have 2 wonderful reliable sitters - our dogs LOVE going to their vacay place, having pets does not limit our getting out and about.
I could go on but this gets the idea across.
It is important to have someone who is willing to take your pup, if he/she outlives you. Or if just adding a pet, adopting an older pet is so uplifting - he/she may not be with you as long, but the love and companionship you receive is daily and boundless.
I plan to never be without a dog, luckily have family members who would take any pet if we aren't here for them.
Ha, ha, yes, I am a diehard dog lover, I say often ‘there is nothing like a dog’.

Jump to this post

@katieliz
Thanks for your sharing: Dogs in general have always been a huge part of my life. I am currently without a canine companion but I watch our Vizsala site frequently and have visited rehab shelters also. I know that, when I meet that one special animal, to me they are better than some folks I've met as companions, He/She/ will let me know that they are my friend for life.
Go Canine compainons!
Jofree

REPLY
Profile picture for katieliz @katieliz

@cmdw2600 After excellent health my entire life and being active (hiking, swimming, agility with my dog; recently - with Silver Sneakers - going to my Y 3/x wk), last January (age 71) I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A year later I’m done with surgery and treatment and planning to live my best life!
My comment is about owning a dog/s. We have 2, just regular spoiled little guys (10 lbs and 20 lbs, both rescues; ages 13 and 5), and I cannot imagine life without them. They add immeasurable joy to my life! They are a responsibility but that’s also good for me, they really set our schedule and give me something to do. But not overwhelming - feed 2X/day, let out periodically, pet often! And there are dogs that are couch potatoes and are happy to just sit next to you all day. We travel often, and after some searching we now have 2 wonderful reliable sitters - our dogs LOVE going to their vacay place, having pets does not limit our getting out and about.
I could go on but this gets the idea across.
It is important to have someone who is willing to take your pup, if he/she outlives you. Or if just adding a pet, adopting an older pet is so uplifting - he/she may not be with you as long, but the love and companionship you receive is daily and boundless.
I plan to never be without a dog, luckily have family members who would take any pet if we aren't here for them.
Ha, ha, yes, I am a diehard dog lover, I say often ‘there is nothing like a dog’.

Jump to this post

@katieliz Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the visual of your rich life with your dear pets and you make very good points! Cindy

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.