@lizzabeth
I would like to reply to all the MCI folks out there. I believe this stage can be very damaging to the spouse who is not ill. No one sees what we see.
we are told “oh i do that also”, or isn’t that normal aging, or he seems fine to me.” It leaves us doubting our reality. Especially when our MCI loved one behaves like every thing is normal.
I personally experienced the Grieving cycle for about 5 years. Slow learner or just in denial? I really don't know.
What i did figure out for me is that the phrase CareGiver has been most of my problem. Because we really are not in that roll yet. I am a companion, a helper, a rescuer, i have been the protector from himself crew (which he resents).
These are all behaviors of two people whose gifts balance one another in an average relationship.
But seeing myself as his caretaker only caused marital devision.
Please Help me think of a new name that fits us all better. Perhaps it will give us all a new outlook on our lives.