I feel locked up in my body and my mind... I can't be myself anymore because I'm immunocompromised and I can't chance another covid infection that would worsen my long covid even more.
I'm unhappy and more irritable, partly because of LC and partly because I don't get to *be* my happy self anymore: no more sportsteams, no more theatre/ballet/concerts with friends, no more organizing boardgame nights... Interacting with people for an hour or 2 hours would make me happy. I don't experience these happy times anymore, I think I have become grumpier.
I am/was a criminal defence lawyer for legal aid and I miss my clients, my colleagues, even the Office !
I'm so angry sometimes. I never used to be... It doesn't help that I am trans and after 15 calm years being one of the first openly trans lawyers, this wave of anti-trans hatred is surging in many places. For no good reason.

I did go ice skating for 10 minutes last week, had to rest for 5 hours afterwards, but that did make me happy and the few people on the ice were very kind and helpful, one young man even tied my laces (hard to do on hockey skates).
Talking to the other people on the ice made me feel me, so much so I burst into tears a couple of times. I catch glimpses of myself.

I hope we all get to catch glimpses of ourselves, more often... in the new year. Good luck everyone.