Hello,
I remember the anxiety and the “quit treating me differently” mode of being on the list. You’re allowed! I was in the list - matched - then my numbers improved so match was terminated - then numbers dropped dramatically- and I had to start all over again. It was a roller coaster with life and death consequences. It’s hard to know what to do. You want to be available but also live your life. I am 5 years post-transplant and travel quite a bit. The pre-transplant list time was just a chapter of my life - not he end but the beginning. And in hindsight was a time with many blessings of its own. Though at the time, it was often difficult to appreciate.
Prayers for peace❤️