Full respect to your commitment and great love.
My husband has had three blood cancers and in August 2024 received an allogenic stem cell transplant. I can fully understand everything you are saying. My vow to myself was to save his life or die trying.
Thankfully he is doing well and in full remission. We are managing some graft versus host issues but generally life is very good.
I have a lot of anxiety and get counseling to help me deal with it. My “self care” consists of yoga at home, journaling, talking and messaging with friends, family and mentors every day, and time outdoors. I’ve dabbled in qi gong and “tapping” (EFT). I do spend most of my time with my husband. I also do peace activism and help out friends often. This has led to fairly good peace of mind for both of us, as my dear husband is more concerned for me than he is for himself.
Support groups and counseling are great. I wish you well.