I say this as a 61 year -old who has been dealing with an aggressive stage 4 cancer for two years. I'm currently on my seventh different treatment. I also live alone and have been my own caregiver 99% of the time, with other people moving in for a few days during health crises.

Do you really need to take all of this on yourself? Can your husband not, at least, do his own research and manage his own appointments, if not also help with meals and housework? Can he not manage by himself for a few hours or a few days while you go do something to enjoy yourself? Is he not still a competent grown man?