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Blaming and anger: How do you deal with it?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jan 31 8:00pm | Replies (87)Comment receiving replies
@lkbous
My husband was just having several days a month of the strange behavior but now it is daily and hourly. I journal every day and that helps. Our normal is not normal but we get used to it so if I don't journal I forget what the days behaviors were. The behaviors are so bizarre that a person who is functioning normal cannot recall them properly. Years ago a schizophrenic person was talking to me and when I tried to recount the conversation to my husband, I couldn't because my mind was rational and remember something so irrational just was not possible. So anyway journaling helps. When I go back and read my journal I am amazed that his behaviors did not just shock me but it is my new normal.
Replies to "@lkbous My husband was just having several days a month of the strange behavior but now..."
@lizzabeth
I would like to reply to all the MCI folks out there. I believe this stage can be very damaging to the spouse who is not ill. No one sees what we see.
we are told “oh i do that also”, or isn’t that normal aging, or he seems fine to me.” It leaves us doubting our reality. Especially when our MCI loved one behaves like every thing is normal.
I personally experienced the Grieving cycle for about 5 years. Slow learner or just in denial? I really don't know.
What i did figure out for me is that the phrase CareGiver has been most of my problem. Because we really are not in that roll yet. I am a companion, a helper, a rescuer, i have been the protector from himself crew (which he resents).
These are all behaviors of two people whose gifts balance one another in an average relationship.
But seeing myself as his caretaker only caused marital devision.
Please Help me think of a new name that fits us all better. Perhaps it will give us all a new outlook on our lives.
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@lizzabeth I too journal. It is a good way to keep up with the progression of the disease and very helpful to have when it’s time to go to the doctor.