You obviously are in a unique situation that most readers here don’t know how to respond. My (now 37yo) son grew up with the extreme end of ADHD — I know nothing like bi-polar, but bear with me.

I think our kids, especially men, are (for lack of better words) offended by the fact that there is something wrong with them. The ego is such that we must take care to not knock them off that delicate balance of mental health concerns and insecurities.

Explaining to your son that his mental health concerns are not his fault, but are within his power to live a greater life, could be a start. Even taking on the blame (your bi-polar is likely genetic) to lift the self-blame off of him. Maybe even having a discussion with a genetics counselor to demonstrate to him that this is something that isn’t his fault, but he has all the power to improve his outcome.

Hope this helps.