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My wife is furious at me 3 weeks post RARP
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: Jun 14 11:02am | Replies (83)Comment receiving replies
Hi! I am a prostate cancer spouse - I monitor this site often for ideas to help my hubby and see what others are doing for similar symptoms, etc.
.... my hubby and I spent most of last summer at Mayo/Rochester doing radiation and since then it has been Zytiga and Lupron --- ugh, horrible drugs! We will finish meds mid-Jan 2026 and we are hoping to come see a semblance of normalcy, hopefully, by the end of 2026. Sex in short supply for the last 1.5 years with my hubby having "inklings" of erection 2-3 times. I hope to have sex again, but we'll just have to be creative.
.... what has been the most difficult for me has been the ill-effects to him mentally. It has become progressively worse, he can't remember a thing for the most part, there seems to be "nothing" he cares about and he struggles to get the motivation to do "anything" ... empathy and affection are in short supply (and this is HUGE since we were so "in sync" before all this, in all areas).
.... It is really HARD for me to NOT get mad between realizing this is not intentional and not his fault. I can be a real cutting "b****" and I end up making a lot of apologies.
.... We talk a lot and he is very receptive -- he tries to fix the issues I bring up, but the mental issues (from above) seem to always take a front seat to my back seat.
We both have lots of support and love from friends and family.
Maybe she just needs someone (not emotionally involved) to talk to.
My name is Peggy ... I would be willing for her to call me if you'd like.
I hope things get better for you ............ I am sending good thoughts.
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@kcharlan70
There are two things you can do about depression and anxiety with prostate cancer. A lot of people say that doing a lot of exercise changes their mood significantly. Getting out and running, Or at least walking a few miles. Going to A park to do it can lift your mood more. I do it twice a day just got back from the park across the street. Petted a Couple of dogs. I go and run 1 mile twice a day every day and go to the gym three times a week.
Another option is to have medication. Usually need to see a psychiatrist to get it prescribed. The below lists drugs that people on this forum and other places have mentioned, made them have a complete turnaround in how they felt about life.
Common drugs for depression and anxiety
Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Effexor, Buspirone, Cymbalta, Lexipro,
One thing he could do is attend an ancan.org Speaking freely meeting. People come on and talk about their emotions and their feelings about what’s going on with their cancers. If you go to that website, you could sign up and they’ll send you a newsletter. The next meeting is Thursday at 5 o’clock Pacific 8 PM Eastern. Your husband could see that there are many other people that have similar feelings, but learn how to moderate them.