My wife is furious at me 3 weeks post RARP

Plus.... you're on "the right side of the dirt" as someone here once said.
She either doesn't care about that, or she has a sweet life insurance policy & is mad you're still around.

@jeffmarc Yup, climacturia is a real thing. I am at the point, five months post-surgery, that I experience some hardening with cialis. I still have a urine release when having an orgasm, but I want to believe that it is getting less.

@shayes914 I have heard that ED usually hits bottom 3-4 months post-surgery. So, don’t lose hope if the twigs of hope disappear. Make sure to see an ED specialist asap to get on cialis and a penile rehabilitation plan. The most important thing now is to prevent atrophy in the muscles. Also, RT has similar or sometimes worse long-term ED outcomes than surgery, if that is what your wife wanted you to do.

Wow...and people wonder why I stay single.
"Sadistic and cruel"???

I know yall care because you sure have very helpful to me and for that I'll be forever grateful.

Get rid of her. She’s not supporting?
More problems with her to follow.

Wow, I'm really sorry you're having to deal with that situation ON TOP of this illness itself!
Has your wife been perusing social media and Youtube, possibly encountering what might be best described as mis/disinformation? It certainly sounds as though something is causing her to come to some worst-scenario conclusions unnecessarily.
Please pay attention to the post by the ever-wise and perceptive Collen Young above, as well as that by retireditguy!
The future, including your sexual one, really needn't be too dire!

As a wife - I am speechless , to say the last and trying to stay calm and composed after reading your post. I have such a hard time actually believing this to be true, forgive me, it is so beyond "normal" behavior.

Yes, as our moderator suggested, you might need professional help BUT I do not think that any concealer can change somebody's character (??) or per-sway a partner to start being giving and loving if they are naturally opposite of that ? I feel uncomfortable telling you that your wife is grotesquely selfish and has narcissism disorder and your life even before RP must have been very, very lonely and difficult : (((. I do not think that regaining erection will change this much deeper problem that exists in your marriage dynamic and if her behavior is making your life miserable perhaps it is time to find some peace and comfort in your life after all you had to endure : (. You might need to deal with PC and different therapies for many years ahead and if you will not find love and support in her but the OPPOSITE, than it is maybe time to reconsider the whole arrangement in which you are now.

I really feel for you : ((( and it makes me soooo sad to know that there are wives that are actually abusive and mean-spirited in times when husband needs them the most !? Please know that her behavior is not normal or common and she might have some serious personality disorder and might be very manipulative in general and that you do not have to stay and endure that torture in the best of times, not to mention now that you are dealing with cancer, of all things : (((.

I would strongly suggest that you find a therapist for yourself ( separate from her or marriage canceler) who will explain to you what healthy and normal relationship looks like, not to mention loving one. When we live for such a long time in bad situation we get used to that and do not even know that it is very dysfunctional and harmful. I have seen that many times happening to my friends or family members. NOBODY needs to live with abuser and there is no excuse for that.

Wishing you all the best and the most of all- love and peace < 3

Wife of husband with PC popping on here to say hi. I’m sorry you are in this situation. It seems to me that if you have had a good marriage for 30 years her lashing out at you at may be an expression of her anger at this the turn of events. Has she treated you this way regularly or is this new behavior? People have all kinds of coping mechanisms when they are confronted with new and very intense events. Her anger towards you could be anger at the situation: it’s not fair, it’s shocking, it’s not how she pictured her future. PC is a couples disease if one has a partner. If you two can’t get on the same page at some point then something needs to change. If you can, try to see her as someone suffering as much as you are and at this time is unable to provide support for you. It must be so distressing for you I can’t imagine treating my husband that way. I have been on this journey with my husband for almost a year now and we’ve gone from shock and despair to acceptance of all of it. It’s not a joyride but it is what we’ve been given. I hope time will smooth all this rough spot for you both. Tell your wife there are others here in the same boat as she is and we get it.

@surftohealth88 I had similar thoughts about a personality disorder. She sounds manipulative and selfish.

In times of challenge, people show their character.
And when someone shows you who they are; believe them.
She needs counseling or a bus ticket.
So sorry for your absence of support.
This is about you, your disease and surviving and thriving after treatment. Not her.
I am so upset for you and just this side of livid.
Sometimes you need your friends to help you see the truth.
I need to stop now.
Sincere best wishes for you and your recovery.