Benzos are killing me
Back in 2018, I diagnosed with what doctors thought was CDiff and they put me on vancomycin and Reglan. I had a very bad reaction to the Reglan and suddenly started having anxiety. It came out of nowhere. I had been on Effexor for 16 years when that happened and it had been working fine for 16 years and never had any anxiety or depression. When the anxiety started the doctors didn’t know what was causing it so they took me off of the Effexor cold turkey. I basically went into psychosis. I was in and out of hospitals for months and months and months with them trying to help me and they finally put me on Klonopin. That was in 2019. By early 2021 I had already reached tolerance and decided I would start tapering off of the benzo. I did that for nine months and it kept getting worse and worse and someone suggested that I try brain restoration NAD. I did that for 10 days and they switched me over to Valium to complete my taper. It didn’t help. I honestly don’t think I can do this for another nine months to a year every day. I wake up wanting to just die from the symptoms. I don’t have anxiety in my brain, I just have all these physical symptoms. Today I finally had a complete meltdown and told my family that I couldn’t do this anymore. I used to be a very successful business woman in Atlanta and traveled the world and did mission trips to Third World countries and now I’m curled up on the sofa wishing I could just fall asleep and never wake up. I know if I go into a rehab program they are just going to do a fast taper and then I will be left dealing with withdrawal symptoms. Someone please give me a recommendation. I can’t live like this anymore.
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@daveshaw
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 67 and have always been a melancholy person, and often felt depressed all my life. But it was never so bad as to adversely affect my life. So I was probably not clinically depressed. I grew out of my depression through my own talk therapy, healing my gut which recent science is acknowledging as a possible contribution to depression, and finally developing as attitude of gratitude.
I am not actually depressed at all, and I’m not actually real anxious about anything in my life, but I’m suffering from the horrific physical symptoms of anxiety.
I read someone else’s post that they too are suffering the physical symptoms that are not driven by the psychological. Although it’s a 2 way street; when you suffer the physical symptoms, the worry or just being alive makes the physical worse.
@daveshaw
I totally agree. I could not have worked without Klonopin. I am now 79 and having balance problems attributed to Klonopin but I have learned to except the downside to live a normal life.
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1 ReactionThis is a very late reply to your 2021 post Cat. Hopefully you've found some relief.
Have you checked into acupuncture? This can deal with a variety of symptoms. I was skeptical but finally tried it and it helped with loosening my lower back, with the side effect of reduced anxiety. And I take 1mg Klonopin 2x/day. I still take it and have no immediate plans to taper off. I only recently started acupuncture.
All the best Cat.
Joe
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