Caregiver Support Group Meetings

Hi. Im new here. Im wondering how others deal with it when you are caring for your (spouse) who gets confused (mine had a stroke) and starts being mean towards you verbally and possibly physically. My husband grabs my arms, its more of a defense mechanism because in his confusion he thinks im being mean to him. He has said some pretty horrible things like im not worth anything more than entertainment to him. This is especially hard for me to take as before his stroke I was dealing with multiple traumas in my life, grief after both of my parents past in our home and they were my only family outside this house, severe anxiety and depression and the loss of my 18 year old daughter (long long story) but she had been adopted had many issues including fasd was interested in all things men and chose to run away. People who I once considered family and friends (ex spouse) took her out of state and he was not her Dad. She hasnt been back. She got attention from saying I abused her and tells people that online. The ex-husband and anyone who knows us knows it isn't true but lots of people online send me hate messages and it hurts. She says things that contradict what she said the week before but no one seems to catch it. I finally got her to stop by telling a true story on her with proof everytime she lies, including posting the report from one agency saying she cwould rin away and tell stories of abuse that would be untrue. I found that about a year after she left. Still i love her even after she had a burner phone texting herself said it was me and I got arrested. The charges got dropped but she was already out of state by then. So my point is I am a o wiped out as a person already with low self esteem betrayed by so many people that I couldnt begin to describe it here and he does this. Once he sleeps wakes up then he is himself and doesnt do that stuff and does not remember doing it. I have a 17 and 22 year old seeing him doing this they see me not abusing him. I am documenting it telling the doctor and home health and him. Then as he does it I try to talk to him tell him that what he is feeling will pass (it actually worked a few times) and that he will remember that I love him and would never do that. I end up excusing myself from the room and falling apart. Does this happen to anyone else?