Your spiritual family is your "real" family - blood relatives, less so - particularly in the bigger picture. I was married to a narcissist for two years and never married again, it was so traumatic. Sadly I had to co-parent with him (more than 33 years now) our only child, so watching her jumping through hoops trying to get him to love her has been torture. Very very hard to parent emotionally healthy children with a narcissist and your daughters are doubtless going to have been impacted. Anyway after forty years, you've gone above and beyond for your adult children - they have their own lives now - and you need to focus on your spiritual family and recognize at 72, it is now or never. I think we have a responsibility to recognize our "higher" purpose in life - remember the first commandment - and if you have a meaningful spiritual life back in your condo, go for it. Teaching your children that you also have an important life (above and beyond them and their desire to be with their dad) and just return to the place you are happy and most God centered. Life is short. If you make God #1 in your life, you'll never be sorry. Focus on your spiritual family, not blood relatives and you'll find your way into a better life. If you don't, you are going to lose your health from the stress. Not advisable! What makes other people "happy" isn't remotely relative to your situation. If your spiritual community is close to your condo, I'd go back there asap. And when you do visit, your two girls and your grandkids will appreciate you more than they do now. It will be more "special" to see you. The Orthodox monks on Mt Athos actually place the gift of discernment above love, because you can love the wrong people - and ultimately end up mired in idolatry. Put your deep religious faith in God in first place and you'll be fine. Best wishes, Carol