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~ Do I stay here and make my kids happy, or do I move back? ~

Mental Health | Last Active: Mar 14, 2017 | Replies (26)
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@skunklady13

Hi I came across your post and I feel your pain. You only have one life and if you feel like you should move back to your condo and be happy then do it. Your grown children have their lives and you need to have yours and living with a narcissist myself I'm taking my life back and his dementia is getting worse. Do not feel like you should feel like you're at the back of the bus or corner of a room. My husband is retired doctor and now everywhere we go do you know who I am, you all are nothing but plebeians and newts. My passion is my animals and I'm very dedicated and in them with zoos now and finally enjoying my life. My only child from a previous marriage passed away four days after her 29th birthday. I raise her two children with my ex and now I'm the proud grandmother of two great-grandchildren. They have their lives and I have mine now. Do not feel guilty at all for wanting to enjoy your own life. Your children will come around. God bless you an email me anytime you need Many prayers,Angel<br>

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Replies to "Hi I came across your post and I feel your pain. You only have one life..."
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 12, 2017

@skunklady13 Please accept my condolences on the death of your daughter (you don't mention how long ago that was). How very tragic to lose a child that young. It sounds as if you have created a rewarding life for yourself and for your grandchildren. How wonderful. Enjoy the blessings. Teresa

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Barb | @amberpep | Mar 12, 2017

skunklady .......
I cannot even imagine what it must be like to lose a child ..... to me that would be unbearable. Bless you for walking through this nightmare and coming out strong and able to take care of your grandkids. You are an amazing lady.
As for me, I've always had trouble speaking up for myself ..... as I "joke" (although it's not really), I have my PhD in "Catastrophic Thinking," people will get mad at me, I'll disappoint them, I might not like it as much as I thought, my children will be hurt, they'll feel like they're not important ....... blah, blah, blah. These things haunt me as I don't want to hurt them ..... in my mind and heart that says "bad Mom, bad Mom." I've gone through this with my therapist - I had to before, during, and after my divorce - but somehow when it comes to my kids ..... it's a different ballgame. I should see him this Tuesday (IF we don't get snowed in) and I think we'd better revisit that whole thing. Raised an only child in an alcoholic home, abuse in every form, and then married to a narcissist, "survival" meant keeping my mouth shut and not making waves or making anyone angry or disappointed in me. (I was well trained) Thank you so very much for your encouragement.
abby

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