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@celia16
Morning Celia - H tends to only be vocal about his aches and pains when it is just me around (lucky me - not). I know he is still in pain at other times, but he hides it.
This latest trip to the ortho surgeon was one I set up. He was going to go, or I was going to see about placing him some where because with my own mobility problems, I just can't handle it. And the constant moaning and groaning constitutes cruel and unusual punishment IMHO if you know what I mean.
He hurts and I understand that, but so do I. When he drops things all over the house and doesn't bother to grab a grabber or pick them up it makes it harder and harder for me.
Forgive me, but our last big discussion about house cleaning has to do about cleaning the laminated flooring we put in about a year ago. He absolutely believes that you cannot even use a damp sponge, etc. on it, much less a steamer etc. Pine-sol drives him nuts. He use to claim it was because it bothered his lungs (everything seems to these days) but let it slip it was because he doesn't like it. Same with any cleaner including vinegar and water. Totally wacky about that.
It use to be just chicken bones he insisted had to be wrapped and put in the refrig because putting them in the garbage (inside and or out) they would stink. He has now "graduated" to doing the same with spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, etc. for the same reason. This is NOT normal! The PCP doesn't seem to be listening when I tell him that about H
Replies to "@celia16 Morning Celia - H tends to only be vocal about his aches and pains when..."
@kartwk , I see. Yes, I can relate. My mom does the same thing. She varies though and fluctuates between being in pain, feeling nauseous and being dizzy. Also feels flushed, ears hurt, hang nail, stubbed toe, etc. There are periods of which she will take a break and not complain much. It seems to be related to anxiety. If she will take an anxiety med, she settles down and feels much better. She realizes this, but resist medication due to medication anxiety. She has an aversion to meds and begrudgingly takes a blood pressure pill and a couple of vitamin supplements. She is deficient of B12 and D and suffers damage from it, because she has refused them for years. She seems very sharp though with no dementia. Actually, remembers quite well. Recently, she started the complaining to others, not just me.
You are right about the mental strain of constantly hearing the moaning and complaints. I can’t imagine doing it to someone long term. But, she seems to be entitled. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it. I have told her she’ll have to take some med like Lyrica. I know she’ll refuse anxiety meds. It’s as if she thrives on anxiety, drama, despair, etc. I suspect a long term care facility will be the best option. Hopefully, being around others there she’ll be more occupied and have less time to focus on the pain.
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@kartwk
I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. I know how that feels, and it can feel that way even if you have people to open up to because they often can't see what you're talking about. But, you're the one that has lived with him all of this time, you're the one that knows all of his habits and his day to day personality. You just have to go with your gut and dive in with the neurology appointment without anyone's blessing except yours. If you're wrong, then yay, but you have to find out what IS going on.
I tried to read back and see if you have taken him to a neurologist yet?
I took my husband to his PCP and he shrugged my concerns off. I'm done with him. I got H to go to a neurologist and did they did do cognitive testing. He showed as having early, unspecified dementia. That was about 10 months ago. We only saw the NP the first 2 visits, then I requested to see the actual neurologist the 3rd visit, also, useless. I had to push for bloodwork and scans. They showed some of the tau and amyloid proteins were off, but still not much interest in him or his plight.
I finally got him into the UCLA AD department and I am so happy that I did. When you have a neurologist that is part of an actual Dementia/Alzheimer's team it makes a world of difference. You feel like you have a team of humans that actually care about the patient AND the caregiver(s) all the time, not just when you're face to face, (although the others were not necessarily invested face to face, either).
My H isn't too bad yet. He does have some quirks and many lack of understandings, and when I have to trick him into or out of something important, he will say I'm sneaking behind his back. I am, but it's sometimes the only way. Then you have to listen to the berating and just accept it. So fun.
I hope you can get some answers and some peace of mind soon. And I hope you can get help for his pain/moaning, I get the annoyance of that. My H coughs alll the time and gargles when he talks, with no diagnosis...
Hugs to you.