Hi HippieChick,
Wow I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I'll focus on your hip question, and if you have other questions, please do ask.
I don't suggest bilateral joint replacement. Recovery is a lot harder and you need a lot of help. The good news is that hip replacement should have a very quick recovery. You can ask your surgeon, but you may be able to get the hips replaced within three months - less or more depending on your health.
So please do ask the question of your surgeon.
Addressing another point you raised - I don't agree either that waiting until pain is constant is a good way to decide when a joint should be replaced. In my opinion, as soon as a joint is painful enough to prevent you from doing something you used to do easily, and there are no other remedies, it's time to schedule the replacement.
I'm 71 y/o and have had both knees, right hip, and left shoulder replaced. In all four cases I waited until I was in daily pain to schedule surgery, and then had to wait about three painful months to get on the schedule. Do it as early as possible and when there are no other alternatives to lasting pain relief.
I wish you well, friend.
Joe
Good advice, Joe. Just had my right hip done—it was very bad— and the surgeon said the left one may be down the road and it would be a good idea not to wait too long. Will take a look at the situation in a year and see. I was extremely lucky that I had long term care insurance and could hire someone to help me. Simply could not have managed at 82 without it. I am about seven weeks in now—walking well, but still nowhere near as strong as I was prior, even with PT. So I will keep working at it, but Hippie Chick, don’t expect to be lifting the dog and bumping up the stairs with him on your lap anytime soon. I used to do that years ago, so I know it is possible, but I doubt that your surgeon would be enthusiastic. What a splendid crew we all are caring about each other!