Thanks to the support and responses on this board, I am trying to proactively do something with H.

Well, I am constructively working on trying to eliminate some of the constant groaning. I made an apt. for him at the ortho surgeon (mind goes black, but the guy that does TKR, hip replacement, etc. - all the things H won't go near because the reality is he is scared).
I told H that perhaps the Doc could give him shot in knees and maybe, maybe braces (another dirty word H doesn't want to hear).

Well, we went this morning and the outcome is good, considering. No, H isn't going to have any kind of surgery (he has himself convinced that if he does he will die) but the Doc gave him shots in both knees to relieve the pain and also braces, good solid braces, for him to wear especially when walking down driveway etc.

I suggested H keep the braces on today to get use to them. His typical pattern is not to do something like this and then not bother to use them. (too klunky, the spring bothers him, etc. I have heard it all before).
I coaxed him into walking around the house with them by saying that they will probably help with the knees, until the shot kicks in and he can get use to the hinge thing. These are sturdy!
Somebody UP THERE likes me, because H actually agreed. I have been praying that something would help him so that the constant moaning and groaning every time he moved would stop. The hip and the back aren't being helped, but maybe getting some stability etc. with the knees will help.
those.

Still working on the dementia diagnosis. I am hoping the next time He sees the Doc. I am going to remind the Doc. how he acted at my apt., interrupting, childlike response when called on it.

So now he is back to watching tv - He is all up to date on Heartland, but has discovered that the Hallmark channel is doing Christmas movies, all day long.
So, he may, just may be moaning less, but jingle bells, et. al are going to drive me crazy before Thanksgiving is even here!