@lisalucier
I've always been the responsible type. If I see something that needs to be done I do it. People would ask me to do things because they knew I'd get it done.
I think I always said yes because I wanted people to like me. Also, embarrassing as it is to admit, there were times I thought I could do a better job than anyone else.
Before I found an antidepressant that gave me some relief I was on a rollercoaster that was going deeper and deeper and staying down there longer and longer.
Always saying yes resulted in being overcommitted and overwhelmed. I wasn't doing a good job with my commitments and was missing timeframes I'd agreed to. The guilt this created weighed me down even more.
Getting on meds that gave me some relief also gave me the opportunity to realize I had to pick and choose what I said yes to. I had taken an assertiveness class where I was told I didn't have to give a reason for saying no and if I got push back just keep repeating myself.
As I started saying, "I can't right now but thank you for thinking of me", I did get some unhappy people pushing back. It was hard for me to not cave and say yes but I knew I'd be in bad shape if I did. So I would repeat myself. There were a few times I had to follow up with, "Have a good day!" and hang up. The more often I did it the easier it got. If I was leaning toward saying yes when I didn't really want to (we all have those days we aren't as strong) I would tell them I'd call them back after I looked at what was on my plate. That gave me time to talk to myself and get some conviction back.
This didn't happen overnight. It was a battle I fought and sometimes still do. I've learned that I have to protect myself because no one can do that better.