@jasonbrooksf oksf I am right there with you. I'm very gregarious and could be called a "love sponge". The most painful(no pun intended) thing for me in addition to the loss of career has been the loss of quality fellowship with friends and family. And the lack of a love life. I often think that there should be an online dating service for those of us who are challenged by disabilities. Chronic illness is a deal breaker in 100% of my relationships. They want a vibrant energetic athletic partner. So, these things take time, and I know everything I say is more or less a cliché, but true. This is a long journey and every day will be different. But I've found that time helps me deal with it. Experience helps. Like when you're flaring and don't know when you'll be able to get out of bed and cook or grocery shop for yourself, etc., it can just seem hopeless. Like it will never end. Even so bad that you might want to die to just end the misery. But as time has progressed for me, I do know that these times do end, and there are infrequent days of less pain, more energy, more of a "normal" life. For me my faith has helped tremendously. Just knowing that I'm in God's hands and He always takes care of me and continuously gives me blessings gives me a better attitude towards those daily seemingly insurmountable troubles. I just joined this forum and Im glad I have. We feel sorry for ourselves but then see that there are people out there that are just like us, and even much worse. And they persevere. And so can we! Know that you are loved. God bless you.