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Long-term depression

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Mar 17, 2020 | Replies (302)

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@danybegood1

@sharlynn62, i think your ideas of volunteering are very good. While i was still working, i wanted to do volunteering after i retired. Well, im not working anymore because i had to go off on disability. I now have multiple medical problems and nothing is the way i thought it would be. Im divorced from my husband of almost 30 yrs. plus i have severe depression, and had a heart attack last September. Some days i cant even get off the couch. And i hate, absolutely loathe taking a shower. Everything seems so useless and un-necessary. I feel, what's the point? I have no friends, i never go anywhere. My husband dropped me off at my kids apartment then dropped off all my belongings on the front porch. This is not what he said he would do. I was furious. I needed them in storage that i had rented. Well, i lost my temper and marched out to his car and slapped him in the face as hard as i could. He left and i broke down crying like i had just lost my best friend. Within an hour or two the cops were at my house to arrest me for assault. I spent the night in jail. What an experience. Then he put a restraining order against me that lasted a year. That's the day my depression started in earnest. The year was 2013 and it's still going strong. I dont know why i bent your ear like this. I dont think anyone else on here knows I've been arrested. Not my proudest moment. Good luck with whatever you choose to do and God bless.
Judy

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Replies to "@sharlynn62, i think your ideas of volunteering are very good. While i was still working, i..."

@danybegood1: I wish I could give you a hug. I can relate to a lot of what you've shared. I've been retired for 2 years and nothing is the way I thought it would be either. I, too, had planned on volunteering. Since I retired earlier than I expected because of health issues and office politics (after working there for 16 years!), I then thought I would work part-time since Social Security doesn't cover my bills. Unfortunately, at my age, I seem to be "unhireable." Sorry to run on ... what I meant to convey is that physically, mentally and financially, I'm at a loss. I understand your hopelessness. You have had such major stressors in recent years, it's no wonder your depression is hanging around. Have you tried counseling or medication? Four years ago, I saw a psychologist who was amazing and managed to help me pull out of a hole of depression and anxiety at that time. I hope to start seeing her again when my insurance changes. I feel for you and hope you are able to find help with your depression. Mindfulness was a concept that my psychologist introduced me to, and it helps one to live on day at a time -- not in the past or the future. I truly hope you feel better soon, one step at a time. Be well and take good care of yourself.