I am new to anything like this. I guess it's because I used to have friends and family to talk to but now I don't. Like many of you, health issues are what began the downward spiral. I was always the active, upbeat, driven , generous person who helped everybody. When I became sick, everyone disappeared. This horrible depression took over my personality. Then I became angry and bitter that nobody helped me when I finally needed it. I tried everything: church, therapy, writing in a journal. Nothing helped in the long run. I know in my heart that I am no longer fun to be around but the fact that I was ignored by all those I had helped my entire life just wrecked my outlook. I am still searching for answers because I'm not ready to give up completely. The biggest disappointment was my husband of over 20 years. We had a storybook love but he was GONE emotionally when I needed him. After 3 years of that, I asked him to leave. It's not good but it's definitely better without him around. This was a radical step but I felt I had to do it. Now what?