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anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing. I don't know if you have any children...I have one son who is getting ready to graduate from college and he is what I think about when I have thoughts of not wanting to be around. I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis in my lower back and both knees as well as chronic daily migraines and I'm plagued with constant hopelessness. What works for me is focusing on one minute, one hour, etc. at a time and try to identify things I can be thankful for and every little accomplishment or good thing that has happened. It is extremely difficult and typically, when I'm at home by myself, I spend a lot of time crying and cursing, but, I do what I can. That is all you can expect. I have had to lower my expectations and "go with the flow" often because I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a day that's not so good.I hope you find some ways to cope during your daily struggles. Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who really do care and I've encountered a hell of a lot who don't. If you can find someone who's had similar experiences (like me) it's helpful for support. You can certainly email me, if you like.Take care of yourself. It's hard as hell to make it through each day, but you never know what might be ahead of you. On the recovery journey....Sharon<br>
Replies to "anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing. I don't know..."
<br><br><br><br><br>Have either you or Sharlynn ever heard of NAMI? It is a non-profit <br>organization that educates the public and lobbies for laws concerning mental <br>health. They also have support groups. Just about every town has a NAMI office. <br>I took classes through them to better understand my bi-polar daughter. I found <br>this organization extremely helpful.<br> <br><br>
Hi @windwalker, thanks for bringing up the NAMI organization. It's been a while since we have discussed NAMI on this forum. Their classes as well as support groups are very helpful! Teresa
Windwalker, No, I have not heard of NAMI, but I will research it. Thank you for the suggestion.
<br><br><br><br><br>You are welcome. The 12 week class I took was a real eye opener and I now <br>have a lot of patience and understanding for my daughter who has bi-polar <br>disorder.<br> <br><br>
<br><br><br><br><br>Annie, I was attending a support group at NAMI; you can really learn a lot <br>from others when they share their stories. Sometimes you learn new coping tips <br>or even about someone else's new meds working better.....plus, there is comfort <br>knowing you are not alone with these kinds of struggles. Hugs.<br> <br><br>
Oh yes, I'm very familiar with NAMI, in fact I'm a member of my local chapter. Unfortunately, it's geared mostly towards family members and the peer programs are mostly educational in nature (which I don't need) and the support group, Connections, is not running. I have offered to be training and be a co-facilitator, but no one has paid any attention to my offer.
There is a peer-run organization in town called On Our Own that I would love to participate with, however, when it was first forming, I was asked to do some consulting ( I was a former director of two peer-run organizations) and then they brought on an interim director who has a completely different philosophy regarding what peer support is, what peer-run means and how a non-profit is run. He pushed me right out of there (I couldn't take the chaos, frankly) and I haven't gone back. I'm a "highly sensitive people" and cannot survive in an atmosphere where there is no structure, where people are coming and going and where I don't feel safe.
Thank you for letting me share.
Sharon
@sharlynn62 Hi Sharon: Thanks for continuing to share with us. I can tell you have tried to connect with support groups, but it is not always possible and I understand your reasons. It is important to feel safe and comfortable in this kind of environment. Teresa
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Thank you, Sharlynn62. No, no children; step-children who made my life hell for a long time.I suspect one of the reasons my husband chose me was for me to "finish rearing his children". Bull. Should have been honest with me.