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Long-term depression

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Aug 6 8:12am | Replies (335)

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@anniep

Like @deev, I am the one people call for a ride to the doctor's office or medical treatments, etc., and I really don't mind doing anything for anyone, but it seems I have become the "go to" person for everyone, leaving me little time for my own work. I cannot seem to accomplish anything at home, then people call me lazy. It also appears I am the only church member who can "cook and deliver" (not true), as I am called on more often than others. Once I was requested to deliver a meal to a family and the caretaker family member who were all sick. I arrived as requested, about 4:30 p.m., only to find the "ill" caretaker had been shopping all day, returned home to drop off another family member, and had gone back out to finish shopping. Not too ill, was she? (I'm not physically able to shop all day!) There is a limit to how much one person can do, and frankly, I'm tired of being the one everyone calls when I am already exhausted, with my own work, house, and yard being left in a mess. (My illnesses are not visible; "But you look fine!.") I appreciate all the uplifting comments from the people on this site, but there were no concrete suggestions I don't already use. I am retired, but very active, do volunteer work in several areas, still do my own gardening and other work, etc. I am married, but unfortunately, to one who never matured. I did not realize he was searching for a housekeeper/mother figure before we married. As far as I am concerned the marriage has been over for many years, but he simply doesn't see anything wrong with me carrying all the load. I am completely alone, but stuck financially and health wise. I can't ask for counseling from my pastor, as he is only 35 years old and already knows all the answers! Honestly, he has no clue, and paying a counselor is out of the question. Our Employee Assistance Program has advised me they work with only one marriage counselor in our metropolis sized city. Seems to me that is an excuse to prevent employees and their families from using the EAP program. All of these dead ends is one thing causing the depression. I am thankful the Mayo Clinic Mental Health site popped up by accident and hope to find answers and assistance soon. A great deal of the depression is caused by side effects of some my illnesses, which are supposedly being treated, but have not improved. I do appreciate everyone who left a message of encouragement.

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Replies to "Like @deev, I am the one people call for a ride to the doctor's office or..."

Oh my gosh! You are definitely being taken advantage of! Try organizing a group to share helping with others needs. If no one is willing to help you, let some who ask know you are already maxed that day and will be unable to help this time. You should not feel guilty, and perhaps someone unexpected will come forward to give you some relief. If I had showed up and the "sick" person was shopping, I probably would have said I must have misunderstood and I will take the food to someone else (your family). If you continue to let others take advantage of you, they will never stop. PLEASE take care of yourself. Keep sharing on this site and you will find that many will have ideas and suggestions for you. Work on finding the strength to stand up for yourself. I'm working on this very thing myself.

Thank you, deev. I have backed off in the last several months.