@laura1970 I agree with the person who didn't want you to give up. Giving up might seem like a way to go but it is not to a helpful track. It's not uncommon to ponder some type of escape. When something hurts it is very upsetting.

It's a good sign that you came here. Feel free to ask questions of others on what has helped them. Try to enjoy something/s every day. In a coping type class I took awhile back one suggestion seemed especially good. First, because it's easy to do & can be done anytime. It was to give yourself a comfy caring hug as often as you like. Be your own best friend and say nice things to yourself that sooth you. Even sing a song to yourself out loud or in your head. Humming is a universal self smoother. Science confirms it too. Please keep hanging in there. People do care about you always. Hope you find some help soon.