How do you cope with the memory yo yo?

@labrown I have lashed out on occasion. Out of pure frustration. Out of answering the same question every minute of every hour he is awake. I apologize of course, and my only solace is that he won’t remember when I was short with him. Yesterday, with the help of a new OT person, I actively worked at including him in distractions like vacuuming. It actually felt better.

@pierwell how do you answer, “what is wrong with me?”

@medott
I don’t know if this is the best answer, but I tell him he has Alzheimer’s, a disease that affects his mind. I assure him that he can’t help it, but we’ll do our best to handle it together.. Sometimes he can tell how frustrated I am, but I say I’m mad at the disease, not him.

@dconway817

IT IS SO HARD

I resonated to several comments here, but especially to yours. A relative novice as a full-fledged caregiver, I joined this site toward the beginning of the year. I have long tried to help my 87-year- old wife cope with many physical ailments, implementing M.D. strategies.Yet that was relatively straight-forward compared with coping with progressive dementia/ Alzheimer's that has developed over the last year, confirmed by a specialist's researched diagnosis a few months ago, Though fully aware of the eclipse of her short-term memory, she refuses to acknowledge the diagnosis and what it means for her future,

I never contradict ny wife when she minimizes her condition as being quite normative for age. I just don't respond, nor use the terns dementia or Alzheimer's when dealomg with her. I think to do so would both cause unnecessary pain and even create unnecessary conflict. Is this presumption correct?

I try to take on as much as I can, but often covertly, so she does not feel guilty or down on herself, yet not so healthy and energetic myself at 88, sometimes feel sad that she seems to take for granted my own efforts and sacrifices. Anyone else had this experience? I hope that our intense mutual love can conquer all, and though some days are horrible, at the end of the day, aware that many of yolu have suffered far more than I, give thanks for all our good fortune.

Big hugs to all to all fellow-strugglers, Keep the faith.

Tom

I have learned you actually can't. Take one problem at a time, Ignore some of them and go with the flow when they are lucid. Otherwise you will be the one in the hospital or worse. I say this as I cannot tell how many issues through the years that have occured. I have been living this since 2013. Take care and best to you through this journey! 🫂🙏

My wife had a craniotomy in Oct of 2024 for glioblastoma. Followed that by 6 wks of radiation. Over the past month it seems her cognitive decline has been significant. I struggle with patience and understanding. She used to be so strong and organized. She is not the woman she used to be, and I miss her. I'm not sure where to turn for this grief.

@mattk56 I know exactly how you feel.

It is such a hard journey. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with the mental fatigue?

@mattk56 Arrange respite care and do it without guilt or feeling you need to be stronger. To arrange respite care go to her physician and ask for a social worker evaluation of your situation.

The mental fatigue is from having to deal with abnormal. The human brain isn't equipped to do abnormal for long; so mental fatigue sets in.

If you had a broken arm you would logically go get help.

You are taking care of two ppl now; remember not to take the backseat for too long.