AA isn't for everyone. If it is not for you, there ARE other support options out there, such as SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, DRA -Dual-Recovery Anonymous (for mental health + addiction), Life Ring Secular Recovery. Most have online options also. Do a Google search. In addition to these structured support groups, there are online and in-person sober communities, options for a recovery coach, 1-on-1 therapy, and podcasts which could be helpful, and even books. Addiction loves secrecy and keeping you isolated - then it wins. No one gets through this alone. Please reach out. Wishing you all the best!!