Hello @suppiskey2surv.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I find your transparency inspirational. I can also relate very closely to the spiritual perspectives you mentioned. Also admire your decision to set limits that would benefit your wellness.
I realize all of our patient care / life changing experiences can be very different but we all share that common thread of caring for loved ones and our individual realities are not cookie molds of others. Strong empathy can still exist.

I remember when my wife could effectively articulate subjectively. That was before her first of four battles with cancer. A left frontal brain tumor 2013. Radiation left its mark with a Neuro deficit. Over the years I've had to step up advocacy for her. Cognitive impairment has been interfering with her ability to communicate and remember. I was reminded of the month we stayed at The City of Hope in Los Angeles 2017 for chemo and stem cell replacement. I ended up in the local ER because of my lower back. That nasty lumpy cot was a recliner that made into a bed. Didn't plan for that surprise.

We believe God has been with us thru all the traumatic events. especially when we look back in retrospect and see how things could have turned out much worse. We're so grateful to have each other. She's 67, I'm 73. So much more to the journey but no need to share each traumatic adventure. But being able to share with other caregivers on this site is therapeutic for me. I like how you mentioned being surrounded by love. The support from family and friends. We've been so blessed to have had help when we needed it. Asking for help is so important.

Praying that your husbands condition continues to remain stable and even improves. You're doing a good job.
Ernie