It is so interesting for me to read about caregivers. I didn't really recognize that role in myself and my husband certainly doesn't think I do any caregiving. He has severe depression, which he has had 10 years now, since he retired. He does less and less, barely getting himself out of bed. He has structured his life so there is no decent time to get things done or help. He sleeps until 3 pm. It takes him a while to truly take up. He stays up all night long watching TV. Meanwhile I just retired. When I worked I had work, the house and the yard to care for. Granted he does do laundry and used to do grocery shopping but even that is not routine now and he can't be counted on. It is so difficult because when he worked he was very helpful, responsible and logical. Now his logic is according to him. I always said he was a true southern gentleman. Now with depression he can only think of himself. He basically no longer communicates and appears to find it an imposition when I try to discuss anything with him. He has tried various modalities to treat his depression but nothing truly works. I say he is married to his depression. It gets difficult feeling like I am responsible to hold the world up to make his life easier. He does not take any steps to make his life better [or of course, to see the pressure or impact that has on me.] At least now retired I have more time. I am quite independent so it is hard for hubby to see his impact. He makes no requests on me. I do take vacations with friends and family [generally without him], have friends I go out and do things with, spend time with my daughter and young grandson, exercise regularly etc. The burden is heavy as I read all of your stories. It does make me see how much of a caregiver I am yet I guess like most of you, this isn't the role you'd have ever thought you'd be in.