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DiscussionHusband developing memory issues
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
Replies to "@jannew welcome (if that’s the right word). Wow, you’ve had a life full.. I’m sorry it..."
@lkbous @jannew
I welcome you too, as a newcomer to this group. I too didn't know what to do with my husband who wasn't remembering things, his refusal to see any doctor, his strange quirky ways for the last year, one day miraculously okay, the next, not so good. So, I wrote a note in the portal to our primary care in August 2025 and told her the things he was doing and my concern. And that I was worried that what he was experiencing wasn't age related. She set up an appointment with the nurse practitioner to see us both, and I told him that we were both going to the doctors', to make sure we were okay. When we got there, I had practiced all night what I was going to say, so I didn't make him angry....I remember writing it down.....we both had been under a lot of stress, that both of us were forgetting things from time to time, possibly due to all that stress, maybe the load of having to move out of our house for mold and living out of boxes, etc. That nothing felt normal now. I remember looking at him, and telling him that I loved him, that I never wanted anything to happen to him, and that if anything was wrong, we owed it to each other to help each other, why we were sitting at the doctor's that day.
I looked at my husband and told him that I loved him, that I was genuinely worried, that I did notice a change in him, and that I wanted to catch it early. So, they did blood work on me, and told him, that it wasn't unusual for patients his age, to forget, but that they were going to do a test to determine if there might be more there. She told him, if there was more there, it was good that he came in, because the earlier the findings, the earlier the doctor could address things. After that doctor tested him, told him he showed some memory issues (but mild), and not unusual for his age, but that she wanted him to see a neurologist for further testing.
So we walked downstairs and booked an appointment that same day with a neurologist. Since then, the doctor did the testing, diagnosed Mild Cognitive Impairment, and one month later he started the lequembe infusions. He's had 4 of them to date. He now tells our adult children that the infusions are important because they are going to remove his plaques. He's positive even over his MRI yesterday reading all the medical terms yet telling me he was fine. So, we're hopeful. Although I go in and out of naturally being frightened and feeling so alone. I know one thing: I'm so glad I had the courage that day to write the doctor in the portal. I hope this helps as to the timing on when to reach out to a doctor. The sooner you know as a spouse that something isn't right with your loved one, is the time, I think, we do something to slow any progression down. I hope this helps.
@lkbous
Thank you! I feel a breath of relief after reading the comments and receiving hugs from the community. Feeling that you are not alone really helps. Yes, the "Am I right?" hesitancy is there for me, but I do think I am right... I may need a bit of time to get a better measure on things and have more examples to bring up with my husband as he will be hard to convince, but definitely will take your advice and arrange for testing. I understand that he truly thinks I am the one with the memory problem, but also would understand his not wanting to go anywhere near this after his experience with his mom. Thanks again, so helpful, and best wishes for you and your husband as you journey on, J.