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What about this acronym to describe us
Caregivers | Last Active: Oct 9, 2025 | Replies (14)Comment receiving replies
I like it. Sitting here in rehab where my spouse gets his PT/ST. Shower did not go well today. He always does this. "You are ordering and yelling at him". No, the shower is 12ft.high. But it is what it is. He scratched me and said "watch what you doing". No, he scratched me". No accountabilty for anything ever. No "I am sorry or thank you".He said it is my job. Like I am employed by him. No, I am your wife and why are you pleasant to everyone except me? He knows how to be kind. So please , understand it gets old being treated disrespect. If he was confused I would take it in a heartbeat.Caregiving is not just ugly words being said to you and then get to a rehab center and he is smiling and asked how they are? I am not needing criticism from anyone as my spouse knows what he is saying! How about ask how I feel.?Did you get a good nights sleep? I will agree that when there is confusion it is not about me. He gets his meals , bathing , appts. made and driven to his appts. But , I feel we need to start watching what we say towards others. I was told on this forum.. It is not about me! I am not a child and I don't need to be scolded. Kindness goes a long ways!
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@sillyblone
Glad you liked the acronym . . . Even my husband thought it was cute, even though I can tell he absolutely hates when I sit down to the computer to write anything to anyone. So, thought that a moment of progress there.
I get it about his being kinder to others than he may be to you sometimes, for sure! My husband gives more attention to everyone else's needs and is so much more polite to people he doesn't even know sometimes . . . holding the door open, asking them how they're doing . . . . stuff like that. And that part of "It's your 'job' " . . . . ummmmm, yup . . . at one point he told me or someone else. I can't remember now but he said it out loud that it was my "job". Boy, that really got me going . . . .
And . . . for anyone to say to any of us that it's not about "US" . . . . All I can say to that is, "You don't know what you're talking about." Of course it's about "US" . . . What? Are we invisible or something? And, what? All those things that need tending to are done by whom, exactly???? Those dang fairies???? This stuff doesn't get done by some magic act. YES, serious illness is horrible for anyone to go through . . . and the "patient" needs what they need; but, for Pete's sake . . . . so does the person all eyes turn to when something does or doesn't get done. And if venting keeps us sane . . . . and support isn't offered for this part of the equation anywhere within the "system" . . . only scolding, judgmental platitudes are being thrown out there, well then the person witnessing it all doesn't know a flying fig what they're talking about.
Love to you, Sillyblone . . . . can't wait until the powers that be give me personal messaging rights? By chance, do you know how long that takes?