@kartwk You said "I am right with you about H always depending on me and I on him. Now, I can't depend on him."

Wow, this is right in line with a current discussion we have been having with a much younger person Not due to memory loss, but due to an acrimonious divorce (initiated by him.)
We have been trying to teach her to read financial statements, figure out who owns which credit cards, digital accounts, etc, how her computer network functions...

That led to a conversation with our closest friends, all over 70 (some well over) during which one spouse acknowledged that they know little about their financial affairs, how to operate the technology-loaded household, their insurance, etc. The rest of us at least share knowledge of all aspects of these things, and have made files or vaults of passwords, account numbers, and a record of where wills, insurance policies, warranty information, etc is stored.

We have an appointment in November to update all of our documents, including durable powers of attorney, which we executed years ago. We have a special fire safe where we keep all of this so our kids have access if needed. Our friends with no children have either a different family member or a trusted advisor who has copies of their documents. We started this years ago when a dear friend had a severe stroke from an aneurysm in her 40's, and it was unknown whether she would recover (she was part of the conversation last week, 31 years later!)