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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 20 hours ago | Replies (405)Comment receiving replies
@lkbous
My husband resents me saying anything that contradicts him to the healthcare workers. I do remind him before we leave that i may have to jump in because its vital to his health that they have facts. He will agree, but when it happens i get the glares. What can you do? I’m trying to be understanding and gentle but then i mess up.
One moment at a time caretakers!“do all we can do and know thats all we can do”
Replies to "@lkbous My husband resents me saying anything that contradicts him to the healthcare workers. I do..."
I think that this happens because your husband's reality is not your reality. And as time goes on there will most likely be a bigger difference in what he perceives and what you see happening. That is the nature of the disease. When you correct him, he may resent it because it implies that he doesn't know what he talking about but I truly believe that that is how he sees it. Before taking my husband to the doctor I make a list of my concerns, questions and observations and I give it to the receptionist to give to the doctor BEFORE we see him. That way the doctor has my version of reality and there is no need to contradict my husband in front of the doctor. I also write down what the doctor's response to each of my questions. I am stressed at the doctor visits and I don't trust myself to remember all of what was said. Lastly be kind to yourself. There is no one way to navigate this journey. Reaching out on the page is a good way to vent and get support. It has done so much for me. God bless you and your husband.
@rubyredkate
I just keep telling my husband that, when he thinks I'm contradicting him, that I love him and for that reason, I'm just trying to include more details/facts. Glares or no glares, I think as a caregiver we have to speak the truth, as painful as it may be, even though they may not like hearing what we have to say.
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@rubyredkate Agree totally. We are the people in their life that know everything about what they do , what they need and our feelings don't matter. Yes, they do.. I give him great care and ignore myself if he needs something. Sad but true! I get tired, I get sick and I'm the one who makes your life easier. Please know I have empathy..but when you are more interested in strangers or medical situations
that you are not relaying the information. Yes, I needed to hear someone understand how we feel.