Cancer but not treating it

My partner suffers with severe spinal issues and back pain. He's afraid also to have back surgery. Can you reference, title of the book?

I benefited from “Mayo Clinic on Chronic Pain: Lead a more active and productive life” but I also see “”Mayo Clinic Guide to Pain Relief, 3rd edition: How to Better Manage Pain and Regain Function” which looks good and I’ll probably get it too.

Thank you

@shorthairptr66 I feel like google is more scary as most of us don't understand the big picture, our doctors do. But for some reason we all go on there. You are very brave.

I have always said the same thing. If I ever get cancer I am not getting chemo. I wish I had stood by that when my family begged me to get treatment. I didn't and still would never agree to chemo but they acted like this new form of treatment was nothing like that. The classic "oh it's so easy now, we are worlds away from all that old stuff". Well it turns out this new form of treatment makes you horribly sick as well, so I basically ended up in the exact state I didn't want. Too sick and miserable to enjoy any part of living and with no hope of an actual cure so it will just drag on this way until it fails enough to call it quits. It's so unfortunate that doctors feel the need to pretend like treatment isn't going to make you horribly sick or else maybe they really don't get just how bad it makes you feel. I don't know which but it's unfortunate either way that they are not more willing to make you feel like you really have options, including one to just only treat your pain because before my diagnoses, that was my only real complaint. I was in so much pain, I was desperate to do anything to make the pain better. If they had just offered to treat my pain and let me just live out what ever time I had with palliative care, that would have been ideal for me. My body is still just a hopeless mess of disease at this point and the treatment has just added to my problems instead of helping them. They keep telling me I am doing great when I get my ct scans, but I don't feel it, so what's the point? If it was just being extra sick for a few months/years and then you get better and go back to normal, maybe that would be worth it for most but my cancer is not curable. There will be no remission. It's basically a chronic illness now that makes me so sick, I can hardly function. I wish I had never let it become that and wish that my family had respected my initial decision to just let it be, instead of hounding me to try something.

@coco46 I'm very sorry to hear of the extremely difficult situation you are in. Do you have a palliative care physician? It seems to me like consulting with one might give you some support and pain relief. Your oncologist can refer you--in most cancer centers this would be offered for chronic cancer. You can continue with medical treatments but add palliative care. In terms of taking care of yourself I'd also suggest an appointment with a social worker/therapist and perhaps a non-denominational chaplain (if this lines up with your values). Both can help you focus on what you need and explore your options. The support should be offered by a cancer center itself or by referral. I understand feeling pressure from family, but I personally have benefitted from palliative care, therapy, and chaplaincy as a breast cancer patient.

I had breast cancer. I did say if I every got cancer even to my doctor that I would not do chemo. Well I sure changed my mind when I did find out I had cancer. Fast forward. After going through chemo if I have a recurrance I will not treat the cancer. I will just live my life best I can...

To any and all on this thread. I am a person of faith and also a person of science (big time). I wish the very best to all. I respect your decesions and in no way am trying to suggest you change your mind. But I do suggest you reach out to God. I have seen literal miracles and know Jesus is so very real. You may have decided to be done with your time on earth. Understood if that is your decision. But why not prepare for what will come after ? Jesus is real and can help you through this most difficult of times. Best wishes and prayers up.

@craigcraig
What nice thoughts and so true! I have had so many prayers answered from God with my husband having lung cancer, my Mom dealing with pulmonary emphysema and me and my migraines. He was always there for us. Sometimes it takes a while. My migraines took 2 years to go away but they did go away! Even my doctor said it was through God that the migraines went away and he put it in my record!
Thank you for reminding us that God is there for us!
PML

Hi PML

I had a liver transplant at Mayo about two years ago. I attribute my still being alive to God and Mayo. I had no symptoms of liver cancer , on a local doctor's whim had a endoscopy of my esophagus for acid reflux, which accidentally caught just tiny tip of the liver. That tiny tip is where my 3 cancerous tumors were. It was then a race to get me on the transplant list and transplanted before the cancer spread outside of the liver. Which would have taken me off the list as they have too few livers to transplant to folks who may pass from cancer anyway. I made the list and was told because of my blood type it could take about two years to mind me a liver. My prognosis was not good . Then 18 days later I got the call and was transplanted. Too many other God things to mention here.

I am so very very glad your migrains went away (----: Our roads can be rocky but glad you and your family are on a good road . (----: Best wishes and stay strong