@schmidty1212

LOVED your supportive words, my friend! THANK YOU!!! Sharing our stories and our experiences is something, I think, that makes the difference between losing our minds or (God forbid) the people we love (ourselves included) keeping something to ourselves that could help someone else.

We actually had a doctor tell us, "There's a reason they call it 'practicing' medicine. I say . . . . do your freaking job and "practice" it somewhere else! I know they're only human but, for pity's sake! Really? I can only surmise that many times "they" put their ego first (which I think happens more than not) OR they feel they need to dance like a puppet in front of the insurance company. Some of them are too eager to put their protocols and charts ahead of listening to the patient and/or the person who sees this stuff at home every day.

Like everything and everyone out there . . . there are good and players BUT, personally, I just wish it wasn't as hard as it sometimes is, beating the bushes, to find answers.

When my husband was going through chemo . . . granted this may sound terribly selfish . . . . BUT, everyone was falling all over themselves to get him everything from an extra blankie to something to make him more "comfortable", while I could have been a fly on the wall UNTIL, that is, a stomach injection would need to be given at home or a nutritious, inexpensive, tasty meal would need to be prepared. Until then . . . most folks could care less about me. Support and/or "therapy" of any sort for how I would need to take care of him at home wasn't offered . . . . . . had to be something set up for him before they would even consider such a thing for his wife of over 40 years . . . I couldn't believe it! Oh the insinuation was made, of course, that it was more than I could possibly handle and would they like to refer me to a psychiatrist if I was "depressed" about it. That's why I sometimes sound "resentful", even toward my husband at times about the fact that even HE wasn't someone I felt could turn to to help with all the stuff I was having to try and deal with on my own . . . I still feel that way, I guess, because he just, even now, can't seem to grasp how hard it's been . . . being told by friends and co-workers alike, "If you need anything", and then when you do . . . nothing but crickets.

I must sound like such a selfish, "whiney" witch . . . . but, for pity's sake . . . . where is a person supposed to turn when very little (if anything) is offered to the very person an ill person needs to survive the ravages of serious health problems.? I wish there was a group of some sort for people like us . . . . who are expected to: take care of ourselves, stay strong, exercise, get plenty of sleep and eat well while trying to hold a job, shovel snow, arrange for the lawn to get mowed, blah, blah, blah. I soooooo could have used help with all the nonsense we were going through, not only with the extra jobs at home . . . but dealing with all the hoops we had to jump through with the medical profession.

I think we all need to share what we've been through or ARE going through if any of us are to survive without being made to feel as though we're not part of the solution or need to take a pill to calm ourselves down.

I realize doctors are only people and the system isn't perfect anywhere BUT when something happens, that can lead to serious consequences . . . . change is required to ensure it doesn't happen again. And, usually, that "change" needs to happen from within the system by those who can change it. The rest of us, with all we have to deal with, can't do that. We're too busy trying to hold our lives together.

Thanks, again, for all the kind words. I really, really appreciate them!