Living in chronic pain

Posted by mrmacabre @mrmacabre, Aug 18 3:13pm

I've been visiting this forum every day for several weeks now, and there seems to be a new trend throughout a lot of the comments. What I've noticed are the comments about our doctors and specialists not seeming to offer us any/enough sympathy or support in dealing with the chronic, never ending pain that a lot of us are experiencing. Sure, we can tell them what we go through on a daily basis EVERY day of every week, but then they see their next patient and move on.

It just seems that no matter what we tell our doctors, spouses, adult children, friends, or even grandkids about what we have to deal with, and how it affects our daily lives, they can never really truly understand what chronic pain does to someone over a period of several years. It just wears you down physically, emotionally, and mentally, to the point that you're just existing, either for them, or for some other reason.

Some nights, when I'm climbing into my sleeping chair with my wife of 43 years sleeping in her bed on the other side of the room, I don't want to go to sleep because it means starting another day all over again when I wake up. Every day is the same, I wake up alone because my wife is at the office supporting us. She's home when I wake up on Saturday morning, but then she's gone again on Sunday morning at her church for half the day. So I'm at home alone the vast majority of the time. I know she'd do anything to help me whenever it was needed, and she sympathizes with my problems, both mentally and physically, but on some days you just want to stop existing, and for the pain to stop, but getting someone else to understand that seems to be impossible. It's something that can't be conceived of without them actually experiencing it for themselves.
Every day for the past 10+ years I've dealt with the chronic pain of osteoarthritis in my lower back, hips, and knees, as well as idiopathic poly neuropathy in my feet, and I just want it to stop. Another fucking day of just existing and staying at home all day by myself? Why am I even doing this? We never go any where, there's no money for any kind of a vacation. Nothing ever changes, except for the levels of my pain. Every day is exactly the same, and the weeks, months, and years just fly past me. The sheer monotony of my current situation is maddening, and I'm positive that I'm not the only person on this forum who feels exactly the same way.
How can we get someone other than ourselves to comprehend the ways we're feeling having to deal with this? Is it even possible?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.

Profile picture for Justin McClanahan, Moderator @JustinMcClanahan

Hello @rt061069 - you may notice I removed your email from your post. Mayo Clinic Connect is a public community and we encourage our members to share private information using the private message function. This is to help protect your identity and personal information from bad actors and potential spammers.

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@JustinMcClanahan

I forgot how to send a private message and I have done that to the main poster on chronic pain and living with it really like to get in contact with that person to discuss living like this provide support to each other

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Hi, Mr Macbraba, I also struggle with daily really bad chronic pain that took me away from my career at age 52. I have had this pain for 24 years and unfortunately over the years have only added more types of chronic pain to deal with. I don't get out often because of this pain and when I do get out, I am dealing with pain that makes it difficult to enjoy my outing. Thank goodness I have my husband, who still works part-time. He does a lit for me, including grocery shopping using a list I prepare for him.
I find it hard to stay positive but having my family really helps. Having my 2 doggies also helps. So I empathize with your situation. Please try to find some hobbies or activities that help to distract you from your pain. Your life has meaning.

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Profile picture for loriesco @loriesco

I empathize having chronic pain for 30 years. The light opioid use has gotten me through with grace. It is the only thing I take. I had a miracle after 30 years -- I found out that the gout was causing my all over body pain and inflammatory reactions. THIRTY YEARS. I'm on Allopurinol now (you can try Zazzee Tart Cherry Capsules to see if that may help you). I have Osteo Arthritis but my gout was entirely ignored by many many TOP doctors! Simple fix! Now I am much improved. New stop trying.
Also, now I have adapted to exercising WITH the pain. It is amazing! I got so angry at the pain that I lashed out at it with exercises. It really helps reduce the pain and release endorphins to help you be happier.
Sometimes I am quite miserable and I just "stop." and be miserable because aging with OA is horrible!
But here's my saving grace, my solace, my consolation: Being creative, curious and crafty! I am totally distracted from my misery by being totally involved in my PASSION.
My recommendation is to find your PASSION. Don't waste time on what you can't do anymore - find some things you CAN do. When you can't do anything than read a book or watch a movie.
Also - the weather makes my arthritis worse. 20 years ago when I figured this out I up and moved. Cost me a fortunate but it was well worth it. 20 years later, I probably need to move again. But I'm lazier about it.
I hope you will find some things to be passionate about!
And get a good therapist to help you through the things you can't control and to figure out what is in your power to overcome. That is helpful too!
Find a buddie - maybe from your church - who will periodically come by and just spend time with you. Figure out what interests you may have and focus on developing those when you are able. Good luck.

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@loriesco I actually did buy the cherry zazee because you mentioned it. I also picked up ashwagonda. I have noticed some less pain and much more ambition! It took a few weeks, but i am doing more than in the last couple years! I been hearing a lot about magnesium too for neuropathy. We definitely have to look out for ourselves now days!

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Profile picture for ld800 @ld800

@loriesco I actually did buy the cherry zazee because you mentioned it. I also picked up ashwagonda. I have noticed some less pain and much more ambition! It took a few weeks, but i am doing more than in the last couple years! I been hearing a lot about magnesium too for neuropathy. We definitely have to look out for ourselves now days!

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@ld800 i did not see the message about cherry zazee, I looked it up but what is it meant to help?
Also I looked up ashwagonda (Ashwagandha) and it seems there could be major issues, go to NIH web page.

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Profile picture for ld800 @ld800

@loriesco I actually did buy the cherry zazee because you mentioned it. I also picked up ashwagonda. I have noticed some less pain and much more ambition! It took a few weeks, but i am doing more than in the last couple years! I been hearing a lot about magnesium too for neuropathy. We definitely have to look out for ourselves now days!

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@ld800 I am so glad to hear it! Might mean you have gout. Of course when you test your uric acid level it will be better because you are taking the Zazzee! I went on the Allopurinol Medicine and feel my gout is well controlled now. My uric acid level is PERFECTLY at the mean! I might try the magnesium again... I had a leg cramp last night and was thinking about it. Glad you are motivated!

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Profile picture for rrenaut @rrenaut

@ld800 i did not see the message about cherry zazee, I looked it up but what is it meant to help?
Also I looked up ashwagonda (Ashwagandha) and it seems there could be major issues, go to NIH web page.

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@rrenaut The Zazzee helped identify that I was suffering with chronic gout pains in my joints.

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Thank you. I don't think that applies to me, but I can keep that idea in my mind

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I understand your feelings. Every morning I say maybe today I won't have pain. But I keep praying and having hope that God will heal me. It's hard to keep the faith. It's hard to have patience and persevere, but without it there is nothing to look forward to. I pray you will find peace and hope.

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