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Wow, you really took your vows seriously. Congratulations on maintaining your marriage and sense of humor. I sometimes wonder why some people must encounter serious health problems and others are spared. In the end, I suppose we may never know or understand the reasons. But, you sure seem to have accepted the challenge and come out on the other side with your loved one.
I haven’t dealt with anything close to what you have, though I do feel I’ve been a significant caregiver for two different family members at different times in my life. I felt it impacted my life negatively and still haven’t fully settled with it. Maybe, it’s different when the sick person is a spouse. I might have adjusted to that easier than that of my cousin and father. I hope to settle down with my feelings about it someday…..not far away.
I do relate to other caregivers though, especially for those whose loved ones are cognitively impaired. Are we a tribe? Idk…..there’s definitely empathy…….I think you have to have actually experienced it to fully understand. I’m not sure it’s made me a better person, but it has taught me to be more empathetic, appreciative and motivated.
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@celia16
YES, it (most certainly) hasn't been an easy time of it. And, still, it may not be even close to the end of it. His health is, at best, uncertain. He, being a man, with the whole gender difference between he and me has been a huge part of our problem through most of it; but YES, I DO take my vows seriously. I must say, though, that I am growing tired and uncertain if I can do half of what I have had to do. I'm going to be 68 in January and have had to set some personal limits of my own to some of the things I may have to do in the future. AND, I've learned that that's okay. Because if I can't take care of myself . . . I am of no use to him.
Please share your story as a caregiver if you feel you'd like to share. It's NEVER easy . . . . if you love someone, you just can't sit by and wait for the things you know they AND you need if you are to survive it. Talking to others about your experiences, especially with someone who's lived it, helps . . . I say no one can hear you if you don't speak out.
As many have probably figured out by now . . . . I'm a talker . . . a blah, blah, blah type of person. I talk fast and type even faster sometimes.
Best wishes,
Dawn