Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection

I have friend with no family. She is helping a friend who has no family and that is how people who are alone manage.

@kahki
I hear you--lost too many family & also friends --97% also departed this life
but
Is "fear" the right word ?
Or are you just more aware than most that life can suddenly end ?
You are probably living life to the fullest and making your hubbys life the best it can be as well
Give yourself credit for being vrrrry admirable--and keep it up xxx

Emaureen wrote: "When Covid shut everything down I began taking walks that still continue, where I look around as though I'm with a young grandchild, focusing on what is interesting, or pretty, or smells nice."

What a great way to hold on to fascination!
The first time I lived nearby a young child, I wanted to share all sorts of wonderful things: feathers, a compass, colored pencils, a butterfly wing, and so on!
Today I might bring home an acorn or a golden leaf, or enjoy special clouds.
If no one else is around, I can be the child!

Young or old, no one knows when their last day on this earth may be, so live each day like it will be your last day. Smile, laugh, be an encourager, look for the beauty in each day. It’s there, but some times we are so self absorbed we can’t see it. Try to enjoy everyday.

I understand what you are saying. I almost died when I was 21 from swine flu and spent months in the ICU and hospital. When I got out, I had trouble connecting to life. All I could think about was the near death experience I'd had (classic--leaving my body, white light etc.). I was just an ordinary college student, and the experience was too much for me. It took me years--at least a decade--to try and incorporate it and start caring about life. My first husband died when I was 41, which might have had a similar effect but our daughter was six and I was suddenly a single mom. Now I'm 71, long remarried, a grandma, with serious breast cancer. So I kind of ping pong between states--awareness of death, appreciation of life. It can be tiring! I'll give a little mini list of what helps me, on the chance something here appeals to you. OK--individual therapy (to get more grounded), Death Cafe (there is an in-person one here but many towns have them), journaling and other writing, meditation and meditative things like walking in nature, reading about death (I like WHO DIES? by Stephen Levine) and being here on Connect where conversation is real. Do you think the "fear" can be turned more into a friendly awareness? And do you have any advice on the topic?

@edsutton
You are just delightful and brightened my day!

@1942marilyne I am 70 and have had a recent spinal cord injury. I’m still able to walk and use my arms and everything is working however I do have some deficits. I’m using a cane and a walker at times. I really try not to let this get me down because there are so many other great things going on in my life.. I have beautiful grandchildren, I still work, and I’ve got the greatest girlfriend anybody could ever have. So yes, it’s hard for me to get around, I can’t keep up with the crowd as much as I would like to.. some of my fine motor skills have gotten to the point where it’s almost impossible for me to button a shirt without using a device, but life is still beautiful, and I’m enjoying every minute of it. I’ve already had to accept my mortality. I think once you do that , you can look at life differently and appreciate everything you have and everything that you still can have.

@mir123

Wow thanks for the heartfelt responses! I believe the question about 'fear' is such a valid one. It is more of a heightened awareness that life is short...no matter how long it is! I sometimes fear I don't have enough time to do all the things I want to do. I believe that if you cultivate your interests life is fulfilling. I am a gardener and a fiber enthusiast. I have spinning wheels and looms. I crochet little fun things for people. I have a young crochet student that has turned into a whole surrogate family. I know I am blessed. But the emptiness I feel is still something to be reckoned with! Little by little. Thanks everyone!

Moods I have felt in the last hour:
1) Grumpy depressed-I don't like anyone and no one likes me and I don't care.
2) Wow! My keyboard playing is really improving! I'm learning to do something I've wanted to do all my life.
3) Reading a message my wife sent me. I like it.
4) I'm sending a little contribution to a group I like. Maybe it will help. At least it's fun.
5) Sent a "duck" thing to my neighbor. She likes ducks. What the heck. (I was really p--d off at her an hour ago.)
6) Reading what people wrote about fear. Yeah, I get it.
These are my moods in an hour of life at the age of 76.
I believe I'm lucky my moods change so swiftly!