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Dating after prostate cancer

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Aug 10, 2024

Anyone have any advice for a gay man on how to date after having prostate cancer. I'm currently in treatment with Androgen Deprivation Therapy so need to use Viagra for anything to happen, and also can't have orgasms currently and, I'm told, once I'm able to there will be little to no ejaculate (I had radiation therapy). I may need to stay on Viagra forever going forward which would remove any chance of spontaneity.

Should I just put this information out there up front on dating apps so those who can't handle it can ignore me or is it something I should wait until things are going well and then bring it up?

Any other gay guys in this forum? Would YOU date someone who had prostate cancer and some ED issues? You can be honest.

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winkus | @winkus | Sep 8 4:11pm

Just came across this post. I am dealing with post prostate cancer and all the issues that go along with it. I would really like to start dating someone, but this keeps me from doing that. Of course, I would date a man that had prostate cancer and some ED, I understand first hand what this is like. I am looking for support groups that cover this topic and places to meet someone that understands. Traditional dating sites don't seem to have individuals that would understand this issue.

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scottbeammeup | @scottbeammeup | Sep 26 5:39am
In reply to @winkus "Just came across this post. I am dealing with post prostate cancer and all the issues..." + (show)
Profile picture for winkus @winkus

Just came across this post. I am dealing with post prostate cancer and all the issues that go along with it. I would really like to start dating someone, but this keeps me from doing that. Of course, I would date a man that had prostate cancer and some ED, I understand first hand what this is like. I am looking for support groups that cover this topic and places to meet someone that understands. Traditional dating sites don't seem to have individuals that would understand this issue.

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@winkus It's tough isn't it. We're our own worst critics it seems. I joined a gay men's prostate cancer support group and it's been really helpful. It's NOT a dating site by any means--just a group of supportive guys who meet online to hash things out. It's been really helpful. Since I made that post a year ago I've become less "me" focused and have just put myself out there doing volunteer work, just being friendly and not isolating myself as much as I was.

A long time friend and I started dating about eight months ago and we've worked through the awkwardness. We get around the lack of spontaneity by scheduling sex and then, a couple days before, send each other texts of what's going to happen which helps with building up some anticipation.

Also, pelvic floor physical therapy REALLY helped me get decent orgasms back again to make up for the anejaculation. It's a lot more than just Kegel exercises.

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winkus | @winkus | Sep 28 9:43am
In reply to @scottbeammeup "@winkus It's tough isn't it. We're our own worst critics it seems. I joined a gay..." + (show)
Profile picture for scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup

@winkus It's tough isn't it. We're our own worst critics it seems. I joined a gay men's prostate cancer support group and it's been really helpful. It's NOT a dating site by any means--just a group of supportive guys who meet online to hash things out. It's been really helpful. Since I made that post a year ago I've become less "me" focused and have just put myself out there doing volunteer work, just being friendly and not isolating myself as much as I was.

A long time friend and I started dating about eight months ago and we've worked through the awkwardness. We get around the lack of spontaneity by scheduling sex and then, a couple days before, send each other texts of what's going to happen which helps with building up some anticipation.

Also, pelvic floor physical therapy REALLY helped me get decent orgasms back again to make up for the anejaculation. It's a lot more than just Kegel exercises.

Jump to this post

@scottbeammeup thanks for the reply. I am glad to hear that you started dating someone that's working through this with you. I have been giving a lot of thought to dating sites and trying to get out there. I would just have to be honest from the start about my issues, and see how that goes. I have done Kegel exercises, but have not tried pelvic floor physical therapy. That is a new idea for me to investigate. I also like that you and your partner schedule sex and then discuss it prior, that is a really good idea. Thanks for sharing.

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