I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. I know that people can use suicide threats as a form of manipulation, however just to be safe, call the police for a welfare check. If he makes that threat to the police they will put him on a 72 hour hold. You are in a terrible situation as you love your child and yet he has some mental health issues. The fact that he agrees he has mental health issues is interesting. Sometimes, when people have a self loathing, they take it out on others (you). Can you and your husband agree that if he starts verbally abusing you on the phone, that you will tell him, "I am not going to be verbally abused by you and I am hanging up now" and if he does send some type of video, your husband does not show it to you? If the two of you are on the same page with some boundaries, that might help. I can't make anyone change anything that they do. All I can do is protect myself. Maybe that will force him to get some help. If he realizes that you are not going to play the game anymore. That is not to minimize his mental health issue at all, it is just to say that you have to protect yourself. When one person in a family changes, the others are forced to change. Hang in there and take care of yourself.