You should be grateful you have someone right next to you my closest friend was a 1000 miles away I m a Christian which really helps like no end, didn’t have to wait for years 7 months from diagnosis to transplant 2 1/2 years ago I wish my partner was there 24/7 but she was there when she could the worst part is the recovery so get prepared for that I still am but I love being alive and my life, you really need to rethink what you’re doing it’s not healthy for you