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Has your doctor been straightforward about your survival?

Posted by lathomasmd @lathomasmd, Jun 2, 2025

Hi all. I’m so glad this forum is here. I was diagnosed with papillary serous ovarian cancer, stage IIIc, three-and-a-half years ago. I just finished my third course of chemo. My doctors will not be very frank when I ask “What are my chances of long-term survival?” They say things like, “Every patient is different” “I don’t like to put a number on it” and, believe it or not, “You could be hit by a bus tomorrow!”
I’d very much like to know what other patients’ doctors have told them regarding their chances. Have they been straightforward with you? Or are they vague and uncomfortable discussing odds of survival?
Thank you.

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sosophia245 | @sosophia245 | Sep 7, 2025
In reply to @bettydee "I have been using the cold gloves and socks during chemo. So far my hands are..." + (show)
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I have been using the cold gloves and socks during chemo. So far my hands are fine and only very slight neuropathy in a few toes.

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Thank you. Onc nurse did recommend those and I used the cold gloves and socks for the treatment.

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koche005 | @koche005 | Sep 7, 2025
In reply to @ffr "So nice of you to offer your skills! Three different oncologists (yes, I got 3 opinions)..." + (show)
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So nice of you to offer your skills!
Three different oncologists (yes, I got 3 opinions) never gave me a survival opinion beyond a serious tone and puppy dog eyes. So it was what they didn’t say that made me realize how serious my situation was. Also chilling was the phone call from my gynecologist who saw the pathology report and told me how sorry she was, then suggested that I speak with my priest or rabbi. (!!!)
My oncologist would not give me his survival prediction and when I asked what the plan is for recurrence he said that we will follow the science at the time. I have tried to keep up with the results of clinical trials but it does get too scientific for me. On the plus side, there are indeed new treatments since my diagnosis & treatments three years ago. But sadly, nothing has been proven to work with my lack of significant markers. So I can only hope that I’m on the winning side of bad statistics (yes, I googled) or that a miracle drug is available when the enemy returns.

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Google "The Median is not the Message." It's a famous essay by biologist Stephen J. Gould. His doctor didn't give him a prognosis, so he searched the scientific literature and found that the median survival time was 8 months. That means 50% of people die within 8 months of diagnosis, but Gould wanted to know about the other 50% who lived longer. He found that some people lived a lot longer. He worked with his doctor to model his care after long-lived people. What the essay doesn't say is that he went on to live 20 years past the expectation and died from an unrelated cause. Wishing you 20+ years!

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ffr | @ffr | Sep 7, 2025

Thank you for that wonderful wish!!!
As a friend told me: There’s always someone who wins the lottery!
Also: My dad had cancer and was given two years if he didn’t have a particular surgery, which he didn’t. He lived an additional 17 years and died of other causes.
So I hope that I take after him!
Best wishes to all who are reading this. We all know the shock of diagnosis, the fear, the discomfort of treatment, the late side effects of those treatments, and the hope for survival. Thank you for propping me up.

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