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How to approach a son abusing drugs
Addiction & Recovery | Last Active: Sep 7 7:13am | Replies (6)Comment receiving replies
Of course, I found your post helpful slarson14 - thank you.
Yes, our adult children are going to make mistakes for sure - just like we did at their ages.
Yes, they alone are in control of their lives now...and actually for a very long time.
I don't know if you are in my shoes with any of your 4 adult children. If you are, please let me know what you did (if anything, in response to an addicted adult child in your family).
My son isn't headed for a train wreck. His abuse of amphetamines, mixing different drug classes together, dosing so very high, having 2 psychiatrists (each not being aware of the other), securing different drugs and using them all on a daily basis - is extremely dangerous behavior.
It's not a big mistake. It's life threatening.
I clearly know I can't cure him nor can I control him. But since I am AWARE of his drug addiction and what he is doing... completely isolated & alone, his drugs his only friends, his only priority in life now...as a loving mother do you really think I should keep my mouth shut, stand by & watch & pray for a soft landing for him?
As diverdown1 said - I will only offer him my unconditional love, support, empathy and help if he chooses to make the decision to stop his drug abuse. I know without a doubt, THIS is the only response I can provide to him. And should he decide he wants to continue to self destruct? He will always know I am here for him. And I love him exactly as he is. I won't abandon him. He will always have a loving mother who will stand by him...no matter what. I hate his behavior and choices in life, I am afraid I will lose him to this brain disorder.
And clearly I know it's possible.
But he will always know he has a mother who loves him - exactly as he is.
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I want you to know something that my mother told me, AFTER I got sober..."As long as you were alive, I knew there was hope." I had no control of my using, although deep down, I knew that it was killing me and there was a part of me that wanted to stop. I was in rehab at 14 years old (parents put me there), so I was familiar with A.A. and recovery at a young age, although I continued to relapse for 30 years. This last relapse was 11 years long (I think). I am now 55 and have almost 8 years sober. I have made amends to my mother for putting her through hell. As long as he is alive, there is hope. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. If you ever feel the need, reach out. I will do the best I can to listen and be of support. I lost my partner of 28 years to this disease. I found him dead in our house because he would not stop using. I have been the user and I have been the one that watched someone I love destroy themselves. This is a cunning and powerful disease. I continue to think of you and the struggles this disease of addiction brings. Just for today. All we have is today.