Someone to listen and empathize to help talk through a tragedy

That was wonderful advice. Caring and thoughtful. Yes, God does bless us and if other's don't have your best interest in mind. God will change the circumstances. You are fortunate to have found love again. Your wife is lucky to have you. Hugs to you both!

I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I watched my parents, for years, go through all kinds of chaos. They eventually divorced after 42 years of marriage and my father remarried a woman that he had been seeing since before my brother was born in 1968. Therapy is very helpful (it has been for me as the child growing up in the chaos). You are more than your marriage. You are blessed with children and you have a willingness to get through this or would not have posted here. I want to tell you that you are strong. YOU are strong, with or without the marriage. The only thing I can change is myself. I can not change anyone else. Usually when one person changes, everyone else around them changes. Cause and effect. It is like a hanging mobile. If one piece is removed, balance must shift. What are you grateful for? Sometimes writing down a gratitude list helps me when I feel like everything is falling apart. Today I am grateful to be sober, having shelter, food, clothes, and YOU, as you have reminded me that we are all trying to make it through difficulties. Please reach out. That is important. I have found such comfort in the groups I am involved in on this site. Just take today, stay present in today. None of us know anything about tomorrow.

Of course, we all have our shortcomings and faults. A big part of a committed relationship, like marriage, especially with kids, is to stay in it FAITHFULLY, work on yourself and help each other. After many years you both come out better. Going out to an affair is a sideways move, not growth, just taking your same baggage to what feels like a new place. But it's not. No insight. No growth. Same old same old. Move on to a new affair. It's called a repetition compulsion.
How does she expect the children to mature properly if this is the regressed example she sets?

I've been hanging on to this relationship for years and I'm only getting the feeling that I'm wasting my life I'm not going to lie but I would do anything to bring the love back the kind of love you know how you feel when you just can't see yourself without someone that sparkle in there eyes when you lock eyes it's the butterfly feeling in your stomach when you're lips just float to there's and you can't stop thinking about one another I miss it so much I don't even remember the last time she came to me and just wanted to cuddle and watch a movie hold hands or even a kiss goodnight I feel there is nothing left like she's not even a little bit in love with me or the life we have 🥺

I feel someone who I can talk to and be myself just simply friendship church has been the most important to help yet I still feel insecure and a loss of confidence I hardly have anyone in my life I could actually call a true friend lonely is the best way to describe my life

I'm glad to hear church is a good support. In the times of crisis in my life--such as when my first husband died at the age of 36--I was not able to develop new friendships. I was too raw and preoccupied. However, once this settled down and I was able to work on myself and grow (this was not overnight!) I could reach out more and develop connections. So for me it was grief and chaos, then self-focus (with a really good group based on 12-Step), and eventually a new life. Situations differ, but I think grief/loss has a pattern even if it is marital strain. A group can help if you can find one that addresses your situation. Wishing you the best.

I'm in a place in my life where I would be blessed to have someone to talk to

Can someone please help me get through this situation I'm in a predicament where I'm not being loved or shown any kind of affection it's been nothing but distance and arguing not to mention the cheating I'm trying so hard to stick with it for my kids sake

Hi Parkerbear,
I'm so sorry you are going through this! I can tell by what you have written that you are feeling very used and lonely. I don't blame you at all. What your wife did is so wrong but she'll have to explain it to the Lord eventually like we all will have to also. You mentioned you wanted someone to talk to. Well, my husband died a year ago and since I'm 79 most of my friends are up in Heaven with my husband. So, I don't have that many people to talk to either. If you don't' mind talking to an "old lady", I have plenty of time.

I would suggest that you also talk to God. Just talk to him like he's your best friend and he is! God has gotten me through this last awful year since my husband died. I don't know what I'd do without God and Jesus and all the angels! I don't go to church. Churches have become too social for me these days and half the time they don't even read from the Bible. But I do read the Bible every night and pray before I go to bed. Besides being God's word it's also a very interesting historical document! Plus it's just good to remember that there was a time when the men had to go out and kill dinner while the women stayed home taking care of all the kids and fixing whatever their husbands killed for dinner!

You sound like a very nice person who isn't being treated as nice as he should be! Perhaps you should just forget the past and go on with your future. It's not easy to do but with God's help you can do it. I've been through a few times like what you are going through but I did survive even though it didn't seem like it at the time!

It's good that you found this website! The people on here are so caring and nice and sincere! When my husband first died a year ago, they were all so helpful to me! I really needed that too! It meant a lot to me.

Things will get better for you and the hurt will dissipate. You deserve that! I'll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

I don't mind at all I would love to talk to you and I would love to have you as someone who I can honestly turn to and talk thank you so much