I don’t want to upset anyone, but I’ll just share what I have experienced as primary caregiver for 2 different family members who had dementia. Things can happen quickly. Getting help lined up is very important.

My dad’s primary would ask various questions about my dad’s abilities at his appointments. Daddy had a very gradual progression of Alz and even after years of progression, he could still recall his address, ss#, and bank card codes! Other areas he was not as functional. His doctor would say things can happen quickly. Still, I thought Daddy might have a couple more years. His labs were really good. He was still mobile and had a good appetite. So, we were surprised when he rather quickly began collapsing to the floor a lot. Then, he couldn’t stand up….then could barely sit up in bed, stopped eating….it was bizarre.

After contacting his primary, he referred him to hospice and we got a hospital bed, which is vital when a person cannot move in the bed. I discovered how difficult it is to move a person in bed who is not able to offer any assistance. His brain no longer allowed him to make intentional movements. To move him in the bed I needed help from another to place a sheet underneath him and gently maneuver him to a comfortable position, carefully placing pillows to prevent skin breakdown. Then up all night tending to the horrible congestion that’s known as death rattle. This is something I thought I had time to prepare for, but it hit suddenly.

My cousin was in Memory Care and after 6 years of Vascular dementia (2 years on hospice) when she peacefully passed away in her bed as the nurse was waking her up for breakfast.

So it’s difficult to know what to expect.

My wife doesn't know or recognize me every couple of days. When it gets to be consistently every day, I may think about memory care but that thought scares the hell out of me. I really cannot picture life without her. 🙁