I am sorry that you have had such a struggle finding treatments that work for you. I wonder, have you had a licensed therapist who had training and experience using EMDR? If not, I wonder if it might be useful for you.

I feel very sorry for your situation, you suffer from depression for many years and like many others you have difficulty with getting the right help and medication. It’s truly sad that when a family member gets sick the help is not available, this is only adding to your mental health issues. If you could find someone where you get your help and ask them for advice or referrals to other facilities, even if you have to travel outside of your area, this is often the case for some people who don’t have access to enough resources, also you can use your computer to find connections to help you find what you need, I hope that helps a little, I know it’s all so overwhelming right now but I’m sure you’ll find something that works for you soon enough, best wishes to you.

You might try Eventbrite. They have many types of support groups, both online and in person

I know there are pros and cons to gene testing and whether one's insurance will cover it or not. Is that something you can consider? It can possibly identify which class of anti-depressants may work and whether you need to supplement with L-methylfolate to help the anti-depressant cross the blood brain barrier. Also, is TMS offered in your area and covered by your insurance? All the best to you.

Many of us, regardless of political affiliation, are scared now. It’s important to figure out if you’re scared because you’re depressed or depressed because you’re scared. I’ve had to learn to go back into the (my) recent past to see if there is anything triggering my mood. Sometimes, it’s just sadness. Family has moved away, loss of job and friends, physical pain. Other times I am just depressed. It’s one of my diagnoses.
I’m fortunate in that I’ve been this way so long that I usually can tell the difference. That said, I can’t always control how I react to it.
AA might give you relief because there are people going thru the same things. Also, do you have access to any dual diagnosis groups? They may help with the back and forth us addicts feel.
I definitely would talk to a mental health professional, maybe even a forensic psychiatrist. (That’s how I was diagnosed around 25 years ago.)
Don’t accept that there isn’t anything more that can be done. You are your best - and sometimes only - advocate.
I don’t know what else to say except don’t give up. Every little step is huge.

I am very sorry for your distress. Is therapy an option?

What about ETC?

I would say always try something else. You never know if the next thing will be the one that pulls you out of your depression. Posting here is a good start. If therapy isn’t helping, maybe you need a different therapist. I started taking Vraylar about 6 months ago and it helped my 20 year long treatment resistant depression tremendously. It’s actually for schizophrenia (which I don’t have) but is being prescribed for depression with a lot of success.
I’m not a doctor or any type of medical professional, just a person with a history of bipolar depression and a daughter with a declining mother.
I feel your pain and frustration and hope that you can find the little bit of light I’m trying to send you.

The reason, some believe, the AA helps people is because it provides a depth of Human connection, where they are able to open up to complete strangers but each willing to share their deepest, most guarded, embarrassing flaws.

The former Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, believed that lack of human connection in our modern world is behind a number of health issues such as depression, dementia, and early death.
There is also a study that has used the nurses in USA to understand many health problems. They found that while nurses died 66% more often when they lacked social integration, their breast cancer death rate was twice as much than those with close connections. Most surprising though was that those who had many close friends, they were even far better in terms of survival than even those who had family connections but no friends.

Who knew what costs us nothing is also the most potent source of our health.

No wonder it's absence, loneliness, is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Maybe this why Aristotle has said, "Life without a friend is not worth living."
https://ascopubs.org/doi/abs/10.1200/jco.2005.04.2846

P.S. JUST MY ADVICE
About ECT
DON’T DO IT