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Sinking ship

Caregivers | Last Active: 14 hours ago | Replies (78)

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It's so difficult to relate to people what it is like to live with someone who has a brain disease. I went to lunch today with my husband and it was a lovely day, and everything seemed to be O.K. and then my husband looked at me and asked, "Are we married"? We have been married for 58 years. This hurts beyond words.

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Replies to "It's so difficult to relate to people what it is like to live with someone who..."

Hi Katrina,
I'm so sorry this happened with your husband. However, having a brain disease he probably really didn't remember if you were married or not. I'm sure that bothers him terribly to realize he's not thinking clearly all the time. Don't feel hurt by it. Just take it as part of the disease that your poor husband has. The fact that you have been married for 58 years shows how much you both love each other. Rejoice in that. Not everyone is so lucky to have that in their lives.

My husband died of lung cancer a year ago. Towards the end of his life he exhibited some odd behavior. If I left the room he asked if I would come back. He worried constantly about being left alone. If I went to the store, when I came home he'd be standing in the window waving his arms all over. He was never that way before. My husband was a very active person who built beautiful things for our home, worked with electric tools, fixed anything that broke in our home or the neighbors. His cancer took all his strength and he could no longer do any of the things he used to do. That was very hard on him. Plus he had to have oxygen and nebulizers 24 hours a day just to be able to breathe. We were getting up 3 times a night because he would have severe breathlessness and needed to use his nebulizer which he couldn't manage alone. What helped us a lot was praying together every day and sometimes several times a day. My husband's kids from another marriage never came to see him even though they knew how sick he was. My husband said we were all alone. But I told him that isn't true. We've got God and Jesus and all the angels with us and we did. This helped us a lot until finally my husband went home to Heaven.
Katrina, just pray with your husband and ask for God's guidance. Remember the good times you two had and tell him how much you love him. Enjoy your time together. Too often it's gone sooner than you think.
I'll say a prayer for the both of you.
PML

I can relate to your situation my husband of 45 years asked me”who are you married to?” He thinks at times that I’m his mother. Has asked how long were Dad and you married and thanked me for the wonderful job I did raising him and his brother. It’s so sad, I try not to over react but at night I lay in bed and shed tears asking why us. May God guide as we go through this journey together, alone.