Hi Surf,
The only thing that makes sense to me is that the people you are talking to at UCSF are looking at your chart and seeing it refer to an intermediate risk unfavorable patient due to the pathology report results not being incorporated into whatever screen/data they are looking at. If that were the case, then their protocol IS following NCCN Guidelines (although I still feel it is patetic to deny you access to a GMO regardless).
The following is how I understand the NCCN Guidelines would be applied from what I understand of your husband's diagnosis:

As stated in the Initial Risk Stratification and Staging Workup, now being classified as CT3 and having Grade Group 4 or 5 means your husband has 2 high risk features. Two or more of those features then classifies him as Very HighRisk (Section PROS-2)
The Initial Therapy chart for High/Very High Risk Group (PROS 7) indicates that for patients with expected survival > 5 years who have RP and an undetectable PSA post op and Adverse Features (which includes extracapsular extension see footnote W) May opt for monitoring (which is not preferred for patients with multiple high risk features - from footnote CC) which leaves CONSIDER TREATMENT PROS-10 as the preferred option.
PROS -10 Life Expectancy > 5 years, Studies negative for pelvic nodeal recurrence and distant metastases +/- positive fossa recurrence or imaging not performed then EBRT+-ADT (preferred)
From PROS-10H
"Currently, the primary method for personalization of treatment from localized to advanced prostate cancer is based on prognostic risk stratification, rather than the use of predictive biomarkers".

If it were me, I would draft an email to the surgeon and copy the Genitourary Urology Department chair stating that based on your understanding of the post surgical pathology ( include a copy) and NCCN Guidelines your husband is in the very high risk category with two poor prognostic indicators. Because of this, the guidelines state you should meet with a Genitourary Oncologist and RO without delay. I don't believe that communicating past delays and current distrust of doctors will help, but rather hurt your cause.

Just the thoughts of someone who, like most of us on MCC, are in way over our heads through no choice of our own.

Bill