For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

@kayraymat: Hi! I have already posted above regarding my experience choosing a Continuing Care Retirement Community; moving there we signed contract that gives us priority to moving into the Assisted/Skilled Nursing facility on our campus site. We will receive 25% discount and can utilize this next level of care whenever the situation needs more assistance (after operations, broken bones that affect mobility, pneumonia, etc.). So to answer your inquiry… we can transfer easily to the building next door where we can get more care - and return to independent apartment living when we are able OR decide to stay in Assisted Living.
We live independently in our large apartments utilizing all services we choose; however, at any time our changing daily needs can be evaluated and we can chose to utilize what we call our Village Health Care building next door.
We also chose to sign a contract they call “Lifetime Guarantee”. This covers our financial responsibility here if something depletes our funds through no fault of our own = we continue to live here in same independent living conditions or needed assistance level. This offers Peace of Mind we all need regarding the increasing economic unknowns = we will be able to live at our current level until we die, regardless of our ability to pay the monthly fee (unbeknown to our neighbors)!
I hope this answers your question.
dbamos1945

I will be 91 next month. I am fortunate to still have all my marbles, can and do take care of myself and I can drive. Even though I have two children, they will not take care of me. So I did a little research. I visited a couple of places that have INDEPENDENT living as I do not need assistance. The staff were very nice but I cannot live in that kind of setting. For what I could afford, the apartments are small and my bed would not even fit in. Since I spent almost all of my working life as a paralegal, my husband and I have a trust. Tomorrow will be four years since his death. Very hard for me. We were together for 62 years. At first we had one of our sons named as trustee to wind up the estate after my death, but bad feelings have erupted between us and I no longer want him in that position, nor in my life. Again, I did research and found a fiduciary trustee. I interviewed her and liked her, so had my last boss (worked 23 years for her) make the proper amendment to the trust documents making her the trustee, and also disinheriting my son and his family. In my view a trust is the way to go. All my assets are in the trust so it will be easy for the trustee to distribute. A Will requires probate which can be expensive and it is a public document. Anyone can go to the courthouse and request to look at your file. I also find that for the most part too many people are cheap. They want to protect their assets but they do not want to pay for a qualified specialist. As in all things, you get what you pay for. My attorney is a specialist. She has expert knowledge and you have to pay for that. And believe me she has no lack of clients because she is recommended. So who will look after me? Hopefully as my trustee and I have discussed, if I do get to that point, I will have someone come to the house to look after me. I will get personal attention. In the institutions, they cannot get experienced help so have to hire whatever they can get. At close to 91 I can't know how much more time I have, but so far I can do whatever I need to do. Hopefully that will continue until the end.

You are so brave and courageous!! Salute!! (i am 71.. and widowed no children. but I have a"boyfriend".. so at this age.. he takes really goo care of me or other wise I would have been passed on a long time ago..My parents went into assisted living and it was in Cincinnati.. it was more like and apartment..( my Dad hated it.. leaving his 600 square foot home) but my sister did all of it.. I live in Oklahoma and have been to ill to do anything0.. so my Daddy retired at 92 and my mother at 87 .. he just closed his company..It was a big adjustment. but very nice place.. they had a "mess hall" and activities. a hair dresser..and nurses 24/7 . my Daddy passed an month before his 99th birthday...had been sick awhile d this year my Mother did not eat her blackeyed peas..said I just want to see what happens..perforated bowel and afib.. she was tired i think .. so July 3rd she passed peacefully in the place.. they had hospice there for her..So I don't know if you'd like to look into this type of facility am so sorry about the way you have ended up with your son.. so sad.. Ill pray for you!! God has got this!!

You are so brave and courageous!! Salute!! (i am 71.. and widowed no children. but I have a"boyfriend".. so at this age.. he takes really goo care of me or other wise I would have been passed on a long time ago..My parents went into assisted living and it was in Cincinnati.. it was more like and apartment..( my Dad hated it.. leaving his 600 square foot home) but my sister did all of it.. I live in Oklahoma and have been to ill to do anything0.. so my Daddy retired at 92 and my mother at 87 .. he just closed his company..It was a big adjustment. but very nice place.. they had a "mess hall" and activities. a hair dresser..and nurses 24/7 . my Daddy passed an month before his 99th birthday...had been sick awhile d this year my Mother did not eat her blackeyed peas..said I just want to see what happens..perforated bowel and afib.. she was tired i think .. so July 3rd she passed peacefully in the place.. they had hospice there for her..So I don't know if you'd like to look into this type of facility am so sorry about the way you have ended up with your son.. so sad.. Ill pray for you!! God has got this!!

We are looking into long term care insurance. Taking care of MIL showed me how much we need it. It’s not just the day to day care it’s the nursing care required that runs into unreal expense. She is home and it’s not feasible long term (sadly) but we are doing what we can while we can. Being in a flare up I can’t do what I’ve done. So it puts more pressure on my guy to establish meals, scheduling care, etc, etc. So you are doing the right thing looking into it now. I’ve heard putting someone on the hcp who is not emotionally invested so when it comes time to do what needs to be done, they can make the decisions per hcp with less upset…then again, its a personal choice. All the best.

I will be 82 this weekend and my husband is 78. He has a physical disability and some memory problems. I have recently had a colostomy and will have hip replacement surgery in September. We bought long term care insurance about 23 years ago when the university where I was working offered the opportunity, and have kept it since then. Long story short, we began claiming it two years ago for my husband and a few months ago for me. The process of becoming approved is very challenging, but we made it through finally and have in- home caregiving, which is an incredible blessing. I have learned more about it than I ever thought possible, including that we never would have qualified today. We paid into it for a long time, but it is finally paying us back. I strongly support getting it if you can, but it is a rocky road, so be patent and persistent.

Since I am living independently in my own home, I do not need assisted living. However, I did look at a couple of facilities that offered independent living. The people I spoke to were very nice. But the apartments were so tiny. I would not only not fit my bed in there, I would hardly be able to take anything of my own. Additionally the rent they wanted was more than my monthly income and when I asked they told me it would go up every year. As I am doing fine on my own, I saw no reason to make any kind of move. Yesterday was bad because it was the fourth anniversary of my husband's death. But today is another day and so I go on.