@b37027 Hello... I am new to this support group. I identified with your post immediately! I, too, was reluctant to have someone come into the house, but I lucked out with a wonderful woman whose husband died just over a year ago. (He had caregivers and she knew what an important role that is, so she decided to do it for others to help with her bereavement.) My husband is still not keen on the idea, but this is for me!
My dilemma now is this: My husband is 86, has Parkinson's from drinking the poisoned water at Camp LeJeune way back in the 1950's. It took over 20 years for a diagnosis. Now he had neuro-psych testing, and the examiner had the nerve to tell me that a diagnosis of dementia would make no difference. Well, it certainly would have when my husband had a choking spell and ended up in the ER. After IV's for an hour and a half, he was able to pass the piece of food. The Imaging person came for him to have a CT scan, and he threw a fit and refused to go TWICE.
When the report came back, the interpretation did not specify dementia. I have read that Parkinson's can skew these results. I am open to suggestions from anyone who can help.
Meanwhile, hang in there. You just need the right person. I will keep you in my thoughts.